Every mother may have encountered such an embarrassing situation:
If other people’s children want to take away their baby toys, do they give them or not?
If you don’t give it, you won’t be able to lose face. Give, and wronged their children.
This kind of scene can also give rise to countless daily versions, each time you are in a [dilemma].
Today’s article may give you some help. This is how the mother handled such a thing.
[Defending] Baby’s Little Hippocampus, I Was Blacked out by Relatives
A relative blacked me out because Xiong Haizi robbed toys.
One weekend, relatives brought their 4-year-old son to play. The 2-year-old and 8-month-old son Zhe liked this big brother very much and basically took out all his toys to share with him.
This, let me quite gratified. Boys, atmosphere is more like a man.
Before dinner, after the 4-year-old child urinated, his brain suddenly opened wide and he rushed directly into the bedroom and made a big tour. Take this, take that, and finally have a crush on Zhe’s blue Fisher seahorse.
From the day he was born, Zhe listened to this little seahorse sleep. It was one of his favorite toys and none of them.
Seeing that the little seahorse was in my brother’s hand, Zhe was not happy and said, “This is mine.”
My brother ignored me, nor did my brother’s parents.
I quickly took Zhe’s favorite little robot and asked him to divert his attention. He took the robot over, but his eyes were still fixed on his little seahorse.
After a few minutes, my brother threw the little seahorse on the sofa.
Zhe was overjoyed and rushed up to take the seahorse back. The expression of surprise recovered from the loss is the most primitive satisfaction.
Then, he trotted to put the little seahorse back on his own bed in the bedroom and beside the pillow where it should be.
After the meal, the 4-year-old brother was about to leave when he suddenly rushed to the bedroom, took out the little seahorse again, and swung it with its little tail.
Zhe looked at his good friend in his brother’s hand and said loudly, “This is my little seahorse.”
The relative and his wife said symbolically, “Give the toy back to the younger brother.”
Brother Cheating: [I haven’t played enough, I want to take it home to play.]
After hearing this, relatives and couples looked at me.
As an adult, I must make a gesture at this time, but I don’t want to go against my son’s heart and squat down to ask my classmates: “Brother wants to take it back to play for two days, OK?” ]
He refused simply: [I still have to listen to sleep.]
I didn’t force Zhe’s classmates [to share]. At this time, the child needs my support most. I can’t betray him when he wants his mother’s support most.
I turned my head to the relatives’ children and said, “My younger brother has to sleep with the little seahorse in his arms. Can you give it back to my younger brother first and my aunt buy you an identical one later?” ]
I really want to buy one for him. Relatives may have taken it as a courtesy and grabbed the toy and shoved it into my hand angrily. The child cried loudly, but the relatives did not coax him. They pulled the child away with pull and pull.
I said goodbye to them, and my classmates pretended not to hear them when they said goodbye.
When the child went to bed, I turned on the computer to buy the small seahorse. When I wanted WeChat to ask relatives for the detailed receiving address, I found that my information was rejected.
Nima, relatives have blacked me out.
Later, I accidentally saw the message this relative sent in the circle of friends that day from other relatives: in this world, children don’t understand, and adults are becoming more and more bastards.
At this point, I can only ha ha.
A small thing to see a person clearly, there is no intersection, but I never regret, help Zhe classmate defend his little seahorse!
Disposing of the baby’s belongings at will will make them very sad.
Our generation of parents, listening to the story of Kong Rong making pears grow up, are not correct in their three views.
Did you hear the scream from the bottom of Kong Rong’s heart: I actually want to eat big food, but if you choose big food, you will not praise me for my humility and sacrifice myself for others! In order to meet your needs, I can only choose small ones to attract attention!
In a group of mothers, when it comes to children [selfishness], A said her own history of blood and tears.
A was born in 1983 and grew up in a small town.
In that age of material shortage, a beautiful eraser can become the envy of the students. In this big environment, classmate a was far away from menstruation in Beijing and gave her a beautiful stroller.
Born generous, she never mind letting her little friend ride it occasionally, but after a child from a distant relative’s family rides it, she will never come down again.
The child has a very stubborn temper. No matter how his mother pulls him, he cries and shouts, calling to ride his bicycle home.
At first A’s parents did not reply, but when the child cried for more than ten minutes, his face was embarrassed-other relatives had already advised him not to ride for a few days.
At that time, most parents did not know the concept of [real right], and their requirements for their children were: [obey and give face to face].
When the parents said [take it away and play with the child for a few days], the child broke the tellurium and laughed, while A was red in the eye but did not dare to cry, fearing that in front of so many people, his father’s big slap would fall down.
It was not until the relatives’ children happily rode their bicycles away and the relatives were gone that A burst into tears. At first, my mother also comforted me a few words, but later she got bored and shouted directly:
[Just play for a few days, you haven’t finished yet. Your father and I are both so generous. How can we give birth to such a stingy daughter as you? Besides, it’s not that you have to show off before others take it away. ]
Clearly it was the adult’s fault, and the birth was buckled on the child.
The buggy did not come back after a few days, because the child’s pride was so high that he rode into the street and ran to play with other things. Finally, the buggy was stolen.
Hearing the news, the parents were also very depressed, but instead of apologizing to A, they yelled at her several times when A said [let him return my car].
Although it has been 30 years since this incident, A still cannot let go.
She said: “From childhood to adulthood, I did not dare to raise my own needs or take the initiative to ask people for help. Perhaps it was all related to that experience. It made me feel that I should sacrifice anything and have no complaints.”
Parents are self-righteous and like to force their children to share. In most cases, they are just afraid of losing face and being said [you see, the child is spoiled by her like what].
Don’t say that if a child has such a high moral standard, adults themselves can’t do it at all, okay?
Your favorite limited edition coat has finally been bought, and I like it too. Don’t wear it first, lend it to me for a few days. Do you agree?
You stared at the computer and robbed the ticket for a day. You finally bought a lower berth. Can I change with you? Can you change?
Your house has a gold floor in the north and south. My house is not good or the top floor. Can we change it? Can you change?
What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.
In children’s world, all toys and articles are alive and their good friends, rather than being measured by what adults think and then used for human feelings.
In your eyes, a car is equal to a hundred dollars, but in your child’s mind, it may be as valuable as a house.
What would I do if this happened again
There is no denying the fact that sharing consciousness is very important to children, and willing to give up is also the basic rule of social ability.
However, if you are willing to give up again, you can also be guided on the basis of your children’s wishes.
It is guidance, not coercion.
Forced sharing, light will make children fear sharing, heavy will not dare to protect their own things, unable to correctly express their needs and wishes, and even unable to establish a sense of responsibility when they grow up.
Only when children are fully respected can they respect others.
On this issue, I may learn from my guidance to Zhe’s classmates:
1. Share the same food with your family. Even if it is expensive, don’t let your child think it is unique to you. Even in winter, when cherries cost nearly 100 yuan a kilo, we eat them together. It really hurts. We only eat one or two of the three or four cherries our children eat.
2. Draw a clear line, From the moment the child can understand what he says, Just tell him what’s his, Which things are mom and dad’s, His own things can be moved and played casually, but if you want to move your parents’ things, you must ask whether we agree or not first. When he goes out in this way, he will know to ask in advance. Now Zhe’s two years old and 10 months old. If you want to move our computer at home, you will ask if it is possible. When you go out, you can basically ask in advance.
3. Let children learn to exchange, After the inquiry, If the other party does not agree, In exchange for their own things, they not only increase their social skills, but also achieve their own goals. Of course, if children enter the kindergarten, a small group, and have been unwilling to share with others, they will certainly get the punishment they deserve, such as being isolated and excluded. Smart children will adjust their social activities according to the environment and become active in sharing.
4. In case the child robbs other people’s things, the parents must stop it. This is not the kind of posturing acting mode, but tells the child very sternly: it is not yours, you must obtain the consent of the child before using it.
5. In case the child is robbed, let him ask for it himself, and parents should not prevent the child from protecting his own things for the sake of face. If the other child is strong, parents should show their protection for their children in time. If the other party regards himself as an outsider, you can also be a [bastard adult] when necessary.