In the West, no matter babies or school-age children, most of them have playdate–play at least once a week. Usually, the children are taken by their parents to play together in their own or other people’s homes, and sometimes they can also make an appointment in parks and other places.
A typical playdate at home has a relatively fixed duration, with snacks, suitable toys and games arranged for children and accompanying adults. Usually there is a tidying-up session attended by all children before the end, more like an informal mini-party.
Different from the parties that we often go to classmates’ homes to do homework and find classmates on holidays, western families attach great importance to playdate and even say playdate culture is not too much.
There are still many similar cultural differences between China and the West. Any carelessness will lead to misunderstanding. In life, we may have the opportunity to contact with foreign children. Dr. Clove summed up some important matters needing attention. Both parents with children and single people are very useful. Mastering these, you will become the most popular playdate organizer.
1. It is important to make an appointment in advance.
Don’t knock on other people’s doors casually and come uninvited.
When you want to organize a playdate and other activities on a temporary basis, send a text message or call at least the day before or a few days in advance to communicate well. It is best to set an end time when making an appointment. Playdate should be about two hours, not too long, otherwise adults and children are tired and children are more likely to have disputes.
2. Parents should be consulted before providing food.
This is very important and easily overlooked by us,
We often feel that it is out of kindness to give other people’s children delicious food. Putting a large plate of sugar on the table enthusiastically and stuffing a handful in the child’s pocket before leaving-Western parents would never do that. If you give their children sugar without permission, they will probably be very dissatisfied. This is because Western parents think it is up to them to decide their children’s diet.
Today’s parents generally hope that their children will eat healthily and moderately. They will not let their children eat as they want, let alone leave the decision to other parents.
As the host of playdate, please try to reduce or even not provide junk food and sugary snacks. If so, you can ask the parents of the other party for advice: [Can I give your child sugar? This is really one of the most frequently asked questions I hear, not only from parents, but also when the school has activities to provide sugar.
In addition, before providing food, you should also ask about the allergy taboos of small guests.
3. It is better to tell parents in advance about the content arrangement of Playdate.
Any arrangement involving safety issues requires the consent of the parents of the other party, such as going out by car and swimming.
4. To take photos of other people’s children, please obtain the consent of parents first.
Westerners attach great importance to their children’s privacy, so don’t keep taking pictures with the camera when playing date, let alone take pictures of their children without asking their parents. They will feel offended.
5. Parents should not rush to blame their children when they argue.
This does not seem that your family education is strict, but you are likely to lose your children’s trust in yourself.
This article also applies to the situation where a child is [naughty] in school and is complained by his classmates or teachers. When the teacher looks for him, most parents feel very humiliated and wish they could grab the child by the ear and take him home, but this may be unfair to the child.
One of my British neighbors in Abu Dhabi is an admissions teacher at the British International School. She said that when the teacher sued the child, she remembered to ask first [who was present at that time and the specific what happened]. Most of the time, the teacher himself was not present, but only listened to the indirect descriptions of other children, which made it easy to listen to partial beliefs.
In this case, the child is already wronged. If our parents scold us indiscriminately, the child will lose trust in us and give up communication with the parents.
6. Parents should tell the truth when their children make mistakes.
There are some older children’s playdate parents who do not attend, but only send the children and pick them up at the end.
In this case, if the child has a dispute during the playdate process, or if the child’s friend damages the family items, he should tell the parent of the other party frankly in the first place, instead of complaining with others and being heard by word of mouth. Frankness is always the simplest and most effective strategy.
7. Children choose their own friends
The baby party will definitely become a parent/nanny party, because they are too young to play together, and they all go their own way. At this stage, adults can choose to get together with their congenial parents.
It is up to the child, not the parent, to choose the friends when the child is older. Moreover, in the process of their playing, parents should not only supervise, but also keep a distance. Don’t let older children feel that we are sticking behind them and staring at them all the time, and don’t let them feel that no one is in charge. It is best for parents to chat in a room, children to play in their own space, and parents can take a look at it every ten minutes.
These are the tips for making sure you have a good date with Western children. If you are not careful, don’t worry, not everyone will haggle over every ounce of our unintentional mistakes (but repeated unintentional offenses do make others slowly form a negative impression on us! ).
The most important thing is that we are willing to actively understand other people’s culture and living habits, maintain courtesy and discretion, and see people’s hearts over time. Others will certainly feel our kindness. This is the key to making friends.