Perhaps your child is still very young, but one day he will go to kindergarten and receive a series of classroom and social education.
In the process of children’s role change, parents will find that their children have various maladjustments and will encounter various problems.
Next, let’s talk about the what problems that all kindergarten children will encounter.
Differences between Kindergarten and Family Environment
Case 1
Penis has been in kindergarten for two months and has good relations with children and teachers.
However, when he needs what, he often only points with his hand in a hurry and does not know how to tell the teacher. When the teacher’s help is not what he really needs, he will easily get angry. This is Penis’s worry.
Parents are also worried that Penis will not be taken good care of in kindergarten and wonder if it will be better to wait another six months before going to kindergarten. This is the worry of parents.
Babies do need meticulous care, but when children go to kindergarten, they have more abilities and potentials. At this time, if parents take too meticulous care, it will delay the growth of children.
Just like Penis, because his family knew him very well and did their best, parents often understood and quickly helped meet Penis’s needs before Penis clearly expressed their needs.
As a result, it is very difficult for Penis to have the opportunity to practice expressing his needs, and his language ability and logical thinking ability also lack exercise. To a certain extent, Penis has lost room for growth.
In kindergarten, a teacher takes care of several children at the same time, and there is no way to give too fine care, which instead provides enough space for the growth of children. Many children have learned more self-care ability in kindergarten.
As for Penis, because the parents’ care is much more meticulous than that of other families, Penis has virtually set up a high step for Penis, and Penis cannot stand on his own.
How do parents change the way they take care of their children?
Parents need to set up many small steps in front of the big step Penis faces to help him adapt better.
1. Let Children Experience Needs
Parents wait more and give their children enough time to clarify their needs.
For example, after the child experiences hunger, the child will clearly know that he wants to eat, instead of parents blindly taking the initiative to feed the child.
2. Guide children to make simple language expressions,
Parents play dumb and let their children express their needs in simple language.
For example, when the child pointed at the biscuit, the parent asked, “Which thing do you want me to see?” ]
[Biscuits.]
[Oh, you mean biscuits. What’s wrong with biscuits? ]
[I want biscuits.]
[Oh, so you’re trying to tell me you’re going to eat cookies.]
3. Let Children Learn to Express Indirect Needs
In the previous step, the child only expressed direct needs, but did not express indirect needs for help from others.
[Oh, you want me to help you with the cookies, don’t you? ]
[Yes]
[Then I know, I’ll get it for you. Next time you say directly, mom, help me with the biscuits, I will know.]
In this way, children can speak slightly complicated sentences in language, and they are more clearly aware of their needs for others. Slowly, they will learn how to ask for help.
4. Let children further expand their communication circle,
When the satisfaction of needs requires several steps, and even when there are difficulties to be solved, guide the children to find ways and express the steps.
[There are no biscuits at home, what should I do? ]
[Mom goes to buy it.]
[Mom has to cook now, so she can’t buy it.]
[Dad bought it.]
[Yes, Dad can buy it after work, but how can I tell Dad? ]
[Mom calls Dad.]
[The baby wants his mother to call his father and tell him to buy cookies for you on the way off work, right? ]
Parents Occasionally Play Stupid
Sometimes parents play dumb cleverly, so that children have room to become smart.
However, parents should also understand which step the child is currently on, and then only play dumb until the child climbs the next step. Wait until the child is already stable on the next step, and then begin to guide to the next step. This step by step, the child can adapt to the kindergarten environment more.
Take advantage of the opportunity when children encounter difficulties to let children grow up in solving them.
Parents need to restrain their impulse to solve problems for their children in due course, guide their children to practice bit by bit, and grow up healthily and rapidly.
Kindergarten Performance Directly Reflects Family Education
Case 2
Xiao Jie and Xiaoqiang also just started kindergarten soon. They are classmates. Xiao Jie in kindergarten, as long as the needs are not met, it is the same as making havoc in heaven, even if some of his requirements are very unreasonable. However, Xiaoqiang is completely opposite, showing great timidity and dare not say what’s thoughts.
However, they are both very similar in their own homes, just like Xiao Jie in kindergarten: what requirements must be met, or they will cry loudly and fall things.
The Importance of Family Education
After the children go to kindergarten, in addition to the family’s upbringing, there are more kindergarten professional teachers’ education. However, it is the children’s parents and family environment that have more influence on the children.
Family is the most important environment for children to learn and get along with others in the early stage. The interaction with family forms the original model of children’s communication with others to a large extent.
Children’s behavior pattern in kindergarten is often an extension of the pattern in the family. The difficulties encountered by children in kindergarten depend very much on the efforts of their families, both from the causes and from the ability training needed to solve the problems.
Adapting to Kindergarten Begins with Changing Family Model
It is obvious from Xiao Jie that his behavior pattern at home and in kindergarten is very similar. Parents love their children very much and hope to give them full respect and freedom. When their children cry, parents will be very anxious and hope to let their children calm down as soon as possible. Therefore, compromise is the easiest thing to do.
What children experience in this interactive mode is:
[I don’t need to take into account other people’s feelings.]
[It works for me to cry.]
[I didn’t know there was any what solution.]
[I have the final say in family affairs.]
Too much spoiling of children and making them think that they are the highest in the family will not only make the order in the family chaotic, but also make the children’s hearts chaotic.
The difference between Xiaoqiang and Xiaojie is that he realizes that the environment outside his home is very different from that at home, and the way he is used to at home does not work outside, but he does not know that there are other ways in what.
Therefore, if you want your child to respect others outside, you must first learn to be respected and respect others at home. If you want your child to learn to control emotions and stress behaviors outside, you must first learn from your parents at home and, more importantly, be able to do it at home. The acquisition of these abilities is also a space for children to grow up.
This process is not easy, involving a series of links to help children deal with emotions, standardize behaviors, find coping strategies and simulate exercises. The most difficult point lies in the inevitable upsurge of both sides in the process of changing the interaction mode.