Nowadays, the Xiong Haizi problem is not only a family problem, but also a social problem. Look at the following news reports and you will understand.
In June this year, more than 40 parents jointly urged Xiong Haizi, who beat and bit his classmates many times in a primary school in China, to withdraw.
In the same month, it was reported that some coffee shops and restaurants in South Korea posted signs of “refusing to bring infants in” one after another because they could not tolerate the impact of Xiong Haizi’s disruptive behavior in the shops on other customers.
Reports of Xiong Haizi’s outrageous behavior are increasing day by day. How to discipline your children so that they do not become the object of public boredom has become a problem that parents must deal with head-on.
The Social Survey Center of China Youth Daily conducted a survey of 58,179 people. The results showed that 85.1% of the interviewees felt that children who played bears were common around them, and 84.9% of the interviewees said bluntly that they had had headaches for children who played bears.
With the advent of summer vacation, the number of trips with children increases. What methods can children understand the rules and observe etiquette in public?
First, stop the child from committing a bear for the first time.
In order to prevent children from playing with bears, parents had better stop their children immediately when they make mistakes for the first time, so that children can realize that their actions will bring pain to others, which is more useful than countless sermons afterwards.
In this way, children will form a clear understanding of right and wrong in their own behavior, and then gradually cultivate a correct view of right and wrong.
Two, before traveling [establish rules]
Whether it’s going out to play during holidays, visiting relatives and friends, or taking children to other public places, it’s a good way to prevent children from making bears before going out.
Make three rules to tell the child today’s travel plan and what you want him to do outside. For example:
Children always clamor to buy toys or food when they go out. They can tell him in advance that what can buy them and what cannot buy them.
When visiting relatives’ houses, one cannot take other people’s things casually.
When eating in a restaurant, one cannot run freely and make loud noises.
When taking transportation, you cannot leave your seat at will to disturb other passengers…
In this way, let children learn to control their desires.
Three, take good care of the basic needs of children
Sometimes, children do not obey when traveling, just because their basic needs are not met, such as hunger and thirst, feeling that they are not taken seriously, and they have to do some seemingly nonsense.
Parents should know how to distinguish between legitimate demands and [bear] demands.
For example, when you go out to eat, you can prepare some snacks in your bag to prevent your children from starving before eating.
Supermarket shopping, you can buy some snacks that children like to eat first, and then choose your own shopping needs.
Pay more attention to children when going out and have some interaction with children from time to time.
Four, find points of interest to distract attention
When children make a lot of noise about a thing, they may as well find some topics that interest children to distract their attention, stimulate their curiosity about new things, and don’t let children get into a corner on a problem.
For example, take long-distance transportation and give him some novel toys to play with.
Dining in a restaurant, asking some questions related to dining and using children’s brains;
When a child engages in sabotage, he can be told that the damaged things have interesting uses in how, etc.
Five, let the child [follow suit]
Parents are the children’s first teachers, and the influence of parents’ words and deeds on children is imperceptible and ubiquitous.
If you want your children to be civilized and courteous, you need parents to set a good example from themselves.
For example, when a child runs around the mall, parents can take the lead in demonstrating [walking slowly in the mall] and exaggerate their actions. While amusing the child, they can also let him follow suit and cultivate good habits.
In addition, no one is perfect. If you want to reduce the influence of your shortcomings on your children, you can encourage your children to face life bravely and independently and cultivate their spirit of self-discipline.
Six, listen to the child’s explanation
There may be different motives behind the same behavior.
When you see a child [committing a bear], don’t be busy stopping and scolding him first, listen to the child’s explanation of the incident, understand the motive of the child’s behavior, and find out the root of the problem, so as to solve the problem from the root.
Children who feel listened to and understood are more likely to calm down.
Seven, stick to the bottom line
When a child assumes a momentum of [not giving up until he reaches his goal] and even lies on the ground crying loudly to show that he wants something from what, parents must not compromise on this unless they originally intend to buy it for him.
You can choose other objects to replace that one. The child may cry all the way home. It doesn’t matter. After several more experiences, he will know where your bottom line is and that once your attitude is clear, it is useless for him to cry again.
Eight, punishment is not equal to corporal punishment
[Xiong Haizi] The cultivation is not a day or two, but the result of long-term excessive connivance.
In order to prevent minor setbacks, we must start with establishing good rules.
Let him know that he is responsible for his own actions if he does something wrong. For the behavior of the child that hurts others and does not respect others, he must pay a certain price for his improper behavior.
This kind of punishment is not corporal punishment. We can appropriately deprive or delay the satisfaction of what the child cares about, wants or wants to do according to his personality and needs.
However, it should be remembered that when the child is punished by appropriate deprivation or delay of satisfaction, the child should understand the reason for doing so.
When the child understands the reason, he also realizes that his behavior is not good-not only hurting others, but also making himself pay a certain price.
Only in this way can punishment be regarded as effective.
However, parents remember that punishment is light and important according to the children’s personality differences. For example, for children with high self-esteem, excessive punishment measures cannot be adopted.
Nine, enough respect and communication
You can play with your children. But this does not mean that there is no respect for each other.
As the guardian of the child, parents have the obligation and responsibility to discipline, and of course they also have the corresponding rights. They should cultivate the concept of orderly growth and childhood from the moment the child is sensible.
Similarly, parents should also respect their children. So, how can children feel respected? You can try the following small methods:
When communicating with children, learn to think in other places.
Say what children can understand and try to be concise and clear when reasoning.
Find the advantages of children and praise them in time;
The most important thing is to be sincere.
Treating a child as a [little adult] can cultivate his self-conscious and independent personality as soon as possible, which is more beneficial to the psychological achievements of the child.
The cultivation of [Xiong Haizi] does not take two days a day, nor does it take overnight to get rid of the bad habits of [Xiong Haizi].
When parents try these methods, they may feel that they are not so effective at first, but if they stick to them, [Xiong Haizi] will eventually become a sensible [little sheep].