After the baby was born, the mother had an extra close friend in her later life.
Mothers should take care of their babies’ daily life, guide their children to know the world, and slowly teach them life experience and knowledge…….
However, this is not the whole company.
The feelings between children and their parents come not only from the affection that blood is thicker than water, getting along with each other day after day, but also from the companionship of falling in love, sincerity, no perfunctory and utilitarian.
The story Dr. Clove shared today comes from a mother who said so about accompanying her children.
One weekend, our family went out to play by subway. There was a family of three on the bus. The little girl was younger than my daughter and was only three years old at most. Someone gave way to the seat. Mother sat with the child in her arms and father stood in front of her.
The little girl has a great desire to express herself. Since she got on the bus, she has been chattering incessantly.
Since sitting down, my mother has been busy, wiping sweat, wiping hands, feeding water and bread. All the words the little girl said were just answered one by one. My father has been concentrating on helping my mother, taking facial tissues, opening the lid of the cup, turning a deaf ear to what the child said, and has no response at all.
After eating, the little girl’s mobility was poor. Slowly, she stopped opening her mouth and slept in her mother’s arms. Mother has been holding her, touching her head lovingly, her eyes and movements are all tender.
I think if Chinese parents are positioned from sociology or psychology, it can probably be regarded as:
[One-way Driven Parents with Full Emotions but Dominant Thinking.]
Because all communication is one-way and has no cycle.
Accompanying children is not just taking care of them and educating them.
I have met many parents. I found that there are basically two categories:
1. Caring parents.
When with the children, the role of these parents is just to [watch] the children.
Chatting, looking at your cell phone, or staring blankly, you will only have one match with your children and respond absently. There is no interaction, no passion, no laughter. Most of them will also say directly, “Go and play with children”.
The interaction between adults and children is that adults have requirements for children: drinking water, eating snacks, wiping sweat, not sitting on the ground, not taking off clothes, not taking off shoes, going to English classes, playing the piano…
2. Educational parents.
This kind of parents, every minute, every second and every word they say with their children, have teaching purposes and intentions according to the teaching methods and syllabus of Parenting Encyclopedia.
On vacation, a young father was swimming with his child in his arms.
The little boy was only two years old. He was curious and scared when he went into the water for the first time. Dad has been trying to teach him how to push his legs and how to row his hands.
My father was very patient. He kept talking and demonstrating. He also kept intentionally exaggerating his encouragement and clapping hard. After learning for half an hour, the child was cold and trembling a little, so he took the child and left.
Does it matter that a two-year-old child cannot learn to swim now? Instead of teaching children to learn swimming by pulling out seedlings, there is a shallow pool for children to play with, and there is sunshine over there, why can’t you play for a while?
But I think that young boy who is patient and has the courage to be a good father has no idea how to play with his children.
Because [playing] is a kind of creativity in itself, unfortunately most parents are limited to education eager for utility.
Clearly playing with children, he became an educator unconsciously.
My two children also don’t like to play with me, because I can’t control the attitude of giving priority to education. No matter playing what, I can’t help finding some educational significance.
For example, when playing cards together, I will let them count how many cards each person has distributed. Let them classify according to color; Read out the words on the card and separate them according to their size and different attributes. When playing, in order to encourage them, I always let them win, let them have enthusiasm, can be more confident.
I think, how much is this game worth playing? A game enables children to know colors, numbers, letters, sizes and find confidence. No wonder it is said that learning by playing is especially effective.
In fact, the first round may be played according to my education method, and then there will be no more.
Children are children. Sometimes they just need to play, have fun and have fun. They don’t know why they laugh and release excess energy.
Two girls in my family like to play with their father.
Lu Zhonghan can not only play with them, cheat and be lazy. When he wins, he triumphantly says, “Look how good your father is!” When he loses, he will angrily shout, “I want to come again!” Moreover, he will invent many new rules and turn out new tricks from the original games, dazzling people.
For example, now the two children especially like to take the subway, because if there are not many people on the subway, their father will guide them to hold the steel pipe column in the middle and make fancy circles.
Turn in front, turn in the opposite direction, take two steps back three steps, or take one step jump turn, hit together, kiss. Of course, every time you play, the first thing to announce is the rules of the game: your hand should hold the steel pipe, don’t loosen it. Loosen it and lose. If you lose, you will be punished for two stops and can’t play.
Every time the children laughed incessantly, making the whole car happy. When there were more people on the bus, Lu Zhonghan would say to the children: “There are more people, we can’t influence others, and we will play again when the bus is empty.”
Although the children are still not satisfied, what is easy to discuss when they are in a happy mood.
Will children still love us if they take off their parents’ status?
In fact, from an educational point of view, children will still learn something, but Lu Zhonghan’s priority is interest. It is naturally good to learn some what by the way, but the purpose is not to learn, but to be happy. So in this game, children are always very happy.
Playing with children is a task to test IQ, EQ, attention and physical strength. Playing with children is one of the best ways to gain children’s trust and make children fall in love with their parents.
Parents and children, blood ties make us linked together and cannot be separated. But if we don’t mention the kindness of raising, just as a person, will our children like us and be close to us?
As adults, we can shape our children according to our own wishes and ways, and let them become what we want them to be.
However, as children, in addition to passively welcoming, bearing and tolerating the love of their parents, will children feel from their hearts that their parents are interesting, valuable, prestigious, trustworthy and respected, and let them love them?
This is a hidden question, there is no answer, because there is no possibility.
Always be serious and righteous, and the children will be afraid of you.
The children will annoy you if you are always painstaking and meticulous.
Always good sir, the children will not obey.
The degree of obedience of children is directly proportional to the prestige and trust of parents in children’s hearts, and has little to do with love.
I have been studying hard and playing with the children.
For example, it is really a difficult problem for my children to eat food that they do not like. Instead of yelling loudly or punishing them for not eating, now I will rub my face and say with a smile, “No more? The mother wants to feel if there is still room in her stomach.]
The children lifted their clothes to reveal their small stomachs, and then I touched them in a good way:
[Here is meat, here is rice, here is eggs, here, here is how empty? Eat quickly and fill it up.]
The children’s happiness is very easy. At this time, they are already laughing and falling back and forth, and they are sure to eat in big gulps. After swallowing it, I will say, “Let Mom touch it again.”
Touch one side again, [here is meat, here is rice, here is eggs, here is the fish just eaten.]
He picked up the child and chopped a pile on the ground and said, “Now make room for another three bites.”
This idea has been tried and tested. Now that Sidi is seven years old, she will still let her mother touch her stomach with a laugh.
The children’s life is still very long, but the time with their parents is very short. Even if everyone has more trivial things to deal with every day, even if every child has to push forward and work hard,
However, we should leave a little time for each other:
Only we, laughing together, full of joy.
This is the so-called family ties. There is always something meaningless in life, but beautiful things are the most important things.