On April 15, 2016, photos and related materials of a roommate murder case were revealed on the Internet. At that time, the media was boiling up, and even several media labeled the suspect as “autistic” without verification.
Autistic college students hurt people?
Let’s return to the initial media report:
This piece of information is simply ironic…
I believe that friends who often read Dr. Clove’s articles will understand some basic facts like this:
- Autism is called [autism] in mainland China and is a congenital mental development disorder. From a very young age, children will show abnormalities in behavior, movement, language, etc. Targeted training and intervention should be carried out as soon as possible, and children may live a self-care life. Although a very small number of patients show talent in some aspects, more than 90% of patients have no chance to enter university for life.
9 ~ 17 years old? I don’t know where such data come from, perhaps it is only the age stage when Teng Gang shows [autistic symptoms], while the performance arbitrarily called [autistic symptoms] is actually a symptom of depression.
Knowing these basic facts, will you still label the children around you at will and say that they may have autism?
Don’t like to talk, introverted, may only be due to normal natural character; To say that a child is [sick] is a kind of injury, which may further aggravate the passivity of the child’s behavior, even lead to a decrease in self-esteem and a strong sense of inferiority.
At this time, the child really has psychological problems.
Suffering from depression, so he is a dangerous roommate?
According to media reports, Teng Gang dropped out of school for one year due to depression in his first year of high school. After that, doctors thought he could resume school. Parents worried about discrimination and criticism against their children and did not voluntarily inform the university of their children’s previous illness.
Some netizens think that depression should be [controlled] to prevent them from [getting sick] again, and the supervision of informing all the people around them and regularly interviewing and inquiring about the situation is euphemistically called [caring].
Depression is indeed likely to recur, but even if he has suffered from depression before, after treatment and recovery, the patient is still expected to lead a normal life, and it is not necessarily that he will have problems all his life.
Perhaps the only [problem] is that most depression patients have sensitive and introverted personality traits.
There is nothing wrong with this in itself. Although we are not necessarily willing to make friends with people with these characteristics, it is not worth trying to [correct] [train] [joke].
We are naturally fond of dealing with people who do not care and are extroverted and optimistic, but it is inevitable that there are always other people in this world who are naturally sensitive and not good at communication.
Once upon a time, after the Huang Yang case, everyone joked with each other [thanks for the kindness of not killing roommates].
Such a joke, in the sensitive view of Teng Gang, is undoubtedly a [attack] [provocation]; Just as Lu Hai Qing’s singing in the dormitory is acceptable to others, Teng Gang may feel [too noisy] because of his natural sensitivity.
Because [it is difficult to be friends], should [should be isolated]?
True [care] is to provide them with available channels for help and specific and available suggestions when they need it. In some cities in the eastern part of our country, such networks have indeed been set up to provide help to patients with severe mental illness and their families.
Didn’t you say depression can only commit suicide?
Some people say that they used to think that patients with depression would only commit suicide and not kill people. Knowing this, they decided to guard against people with depression around them in the future.
On the one hand, this is arbitrary discrimination; On the other hand, we have to mention mental disorders such as [personality disorder].
People with personality disorders may indeed take the initiative to hurt people, especially after feeling that they have been violated.
We have talked about the common manifestations of some personality disorders. Although almost everyone feels nervous about one or several of them, in fact, typical personality disorder patients, even we ordinary people, can easily be identified from normal people.
Is it possible for depression patients to suffer from personality disorders at the same time? It is possible, and the possibility is not small.
However, this is not the reason why we fear, stay away from and stigmatize them.
Under the great mental stimulation, even people who were completely normal in the past may do acts that hurt others:
- According to the survey, about 8% ~ 10% of the patients with severe mental diseases have violent tendencies or behaviors, while nearly 20% of the ordinary people who are not sick have used violence. In fact, patients with mental diseases often become victims of violence because they are isolated and misunderstood.
Recall, have you ever had unconscious discrimination or verbal violence against this group?
How to treat depressed roommates correctly?
Finally, let’s briefly say, if your roommate suffers from depression, what should you do?
STEP 1 Confidentiality
If your roommate tells you that he is depressed, congratulate you first. You have won his trust. Don’t disappoint him. Don’t tell others this for him in advance without his permission, otherwise it will be a blow.
You can take the initiative to ask him:
- Can I tell the head teacher/psychological committee when your condition deteriorates? ([I really hope you can agree with me to do so], it is best to get consent so that you can take actions to help him when necessary in the future) Do you need me to help you make an appointment with the school psychological counseling center? Do your parents know about you?
Step 2 Listen More
Listen to his statement carefully, find out what he needs what through listening, and confirm with him when necessary whether you get what he really needs, such as:
- You said that medicine is very expensive, do you need what support financially? Don’t worry, even if I need help, I won’t let others know your situation rashly. You said you felt very lonely. Do you want to wait for me in the morning and let’s go to the classroom together? You can’t sleep well at night, why don’t I book a rule that [lights must be turned off at 11 o’clock] later? Don’t worry about other people, it would have been healthier. … …
It is also normal to adjust yourself and be rejected. If you can let the other party know that the other party can ask you for help at any time, it will be very successful.
3. No encouragement, no evaluation
After listening to the self-narration of depressed patients, many people will give birth to exclamations of “alas, how much is the matter”, and then try to make the other party feel better through verbal comfort, or want to [inspire] the other party, so that depressed patients can get out of the sense of helplessness and hopelessness.
It is strongly recommended not to do so, which will only make the other party more painful.
Of course, they want to get better and come out, but they have temporarily lost this ability. Your encouragement and goading will only increase their sense of incompetence and further feel that they cannot understand.
4. Identify dangerous signals in time
If he discloses one of the following information to you, it is recommended that you don’t make a fuss first, listen calmly, and chat normally, but contact the school consultation center or call the suicide assistance phone as soon as possible after the conversation is over for further help:
- To express the thought of [dying]; Show recent wounds of self-mutilation (attempted suicide); It seems that all the students around me are aiming at themselves. Seems to have heard/seen something that should not exist in theory; Showing a strong sense of despair or inferiority in any way that [wants to end everything].
It is really not easy to achieve the above suggestions.
If you feel that you cannot do it, there is nothing wrong with deciding to give priority to living your life. For them, our attitude of not being biased or discriminatory, even if it is only a little cold, but not taking the initiative to hurt, is also a kind of help.