Editor’s Note:
Sex education is a human nature education and is not simple at all.
Do you want to educate your children about sex? How? Speaking of what? These are all headaches for parents.
Especially now that the second child is open and the family will have a younger brother and sister in the future, how can you explain it to him?
The author of this article, although she has no baby yet, has a younger brother 7 years younger than herself. How did she have sex education with her younger brother?
I have a 13-year-old brother, and my friends all say that my brother is a good [educational achievement], so they ask me to share my experience in [how to educate children about sex].
Sex education is not achieved overnight, it runs through daily life. Next, I will talk about it in seven stages.
Stage 1: Differences between Men and Women
After the younger brother was born, the family classified the restrooms according to sex. Four people must abide by them carefully. Violators will be attacked by the other three.
So my younger brother knew that people were divided into men and women when he was not very likely to speak, and probably understood that there was a difference in [excretion] between men and women.
Stage 2: Gender Privacy Must Be Protected
When my younger brother was young, I asked his family to change diapers in private space. When my younger brother grew up, I asked him to close the door and forbid others to enter when changing clothes, and insisted that he enter the fitting room when shopping for clothes, even if his parents thought it was indifferent to his age.
After doing so, my younger brother formed the concept of “when people change clothes, others cannot offend” from an early age.
Stage 3: There is no distinction between gender and pros and cons.
The focus of this stage is to prohibit any labeling and mocking of his younger brother.
When he cried not to play with the bumper car, I will stop my brothers from laughing at him for not being brave enough as a boy. Tell him that it is not because he is a boy that he must do everything, just do his best. When he likes the doll at my bedside, I will stop his parents from laughing at him casually, saying that he is [sissy], and tell his parents that he has the right to choose his own preferences, and there is no difference between good and bad.
Until now, the status of men and women in my younger brother’s heart is the same. He understands that everyone and his choices deserve to be respected.
Stage 4: Understanding Body Structure and Inviolability
My younger brother entered the kindergarten kindergarten at the age of three, and almost half a year later he began to talk about the little girl discussed by the boys in the class. I had a hunch that he would ask such questions as [where did I come from]. As a [lazy cancer patient], he was naturally too lazy to explain to him, so he gave him the < < little encyclopedia > > I read when I was a child, from physical chemistry to physiological health, which what had in the book.
Later, he read many books like “100,000 Why” and scientific magazines.So my younger brother never asked me [where did he come from], because the book made it very clear.At that time, he knew more nouns and terminology about human body structure than I did, and he didn’t think this knowledge was special to what.
After entering the small class, he began to have a favorite little girl, and many little girls liked him. I told him in comparison with the book, where people can’t touch, and then I showed him the relevant legal provisions. He was only four years old at that time, and was frightened by this.
I also asked him to remember that everyone’s body is inviolable, including himself. If anyone touches the private parts of his body, he must tell his sister immediately.
Stage 5: Face up to sexual desire and homosexuality
This year, my mother told me that my younger brother began to watch [Xiao Huang Wang] and let me do some ideological education work.
First of all, I asked my male friends around me and learned that it is normal to start watching [Xiao Huang Wang] at this age. Then I called my parents to have a meeting and told them that this is normal, but I hope they respect my brother’s privacy and don’t criticize and evaluate him.
The next step is my ideological education of my brother.
In fact, my younger brother is a bit rebellious now. He is not as accommodating as he was when he was a child. Let’s show you our dialogue at that time.
[Beibei, I heard that you have started to look at human websites recently, right? ]
[…]
[I’m not accusing you, what said what between us, and you have what to be afraid of.]
[… yes, yes.]
[My sister asked my friends, it is normal to know this matter, but there are several things to tell you. After all, it is still the first place in my studies in China. I can see but I should be restrained. I have already talked to my parents. Don’t worry that they will say what, but you have to take into account their feelings. Be smart when looking at such things and don’t let them know.]
[… OK.] The younger brother’s eyelids jumped.
[Speaking of which, do you know what is having sex? ]
[Know.]
Next, I emphasized four things with him and made him understand the importance:
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Don’t have sex before you are a minor, he may not be able to bear this responsibility.
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There is nothing special about premarital sex. This is everyone’s right to freely control his body, but at present he focuses on his studies.
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When you have sex with others in the future, you must wear condoms, not only for contraception, but also to prevent diseases.
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Even if you find out that you love a man in the future, don’t feel abnormal. If you really decide to do that, you must tell your sister that she will support you.
Stage 6: Appearance will eventually grow old, but a beautiful heart will always be young.
On this point, everyone around me said that my younger brother had been corrected a little too much, but in fact it was my mother’s credit, because since my younger brother understood, she has been nagging two words in his ear:
The most important thing in finding an object is connotation and character, and happy coexistence is the first.
Women need pain and love, not scold and blame.
Some people think that the child does not understand, but in fact he keeps it in mind.
When my younger brother entered the small class, he was worried about a little girl in the class. In line with the psychology of gossip, my mother and I excitedly [killed] the class to see what the little girl looked like. The little girl I saw later can really be said to be the most inconspicuous in the class, and none of them.
Then I asked my brother why, and the answer we got was beyond our refutation.
I face the two most beautiful women in the world at home every day. Other girls look the same in my eyes. The girls I like must be at least as smart and educated as my sister. That is the most important thing.
Since then, the girls he likes are all those with special connotation, education and high emotional intelligence, and appearance is not important to him.
Stage 7: Be with the person you love
I will take out my emotional experience and love experience and lessons to talk to him. I told him a lot, and every time he comforted me, cared about me and accompanied me.
He has seen me ecstatic at the response of the right person, crying and sad after I broke up, angry after I was cheated, discouraged and indifferent after I was injured.
I didn’t treat him as a child. I believe he saw him more thoroughly than others. He knew the heaviness, happiness and various moods of a relationship. I hope he can be with a person because he really loves a person. I believe he will not start a relationship because he relieves loneliness, face, interests, etc.
I told him not to start a relationship easily if he has no ability to protect it. If he decides to fall in love, he must be responsible for the relationship to the end.
Summary
Having said so much, although it is called “sex education”, it is actually more like two children accompanying each other, growing up and passing on experiences. I hope my brother will not go on the detour he has taken, and my pain will be soothed by his innocent company.
My friend came to me privately and said that my brother was still young and should not know so much. However, I think it doesn’t matter if too many people teach their daughters how to protect themselves and too many people think that their family is a son and they won’t suffer anyway.
I can’t wave flags and shout to let everyone teach their sons well, nor can I let all girls protect themselves well. All I can do is educate my brother well, respect everyone’s existence and their bodies, and recognized women’s efforts.
I hope that through these tiny things in sex education for my younger brother, the world will become a little better and a little different.