In the eyes of many parents, other people’s children have such characteristics: natural and graceful when dealing with people, active participation in various activities, and no stage fright when performing in public…….
In fact, all these performances come from the same quality, that is, self-confidence.
I believe many parents will ask: [Why are other people’s children always full of confidence, while our children are always coy and always seem to lack confidence? Is this a congenital decision? ]
Of course not, self-confidence is built up the day after tomorrow, and in the process of children building self-confidence, the cultivation of parents plays a vital role.
So, as parents, how can we shoulder this important task and make our children full of confidence?
Confidence is what?
To understand how to cultivate self-confidence, one must first know whether self-confidence is what.
The word “letter” in the word “self-confidence” has three meanings: [affirmation], [belief] and [belief].
A confident child will affirm his ability and think he is good enough. At the same time, they will also give themselves 100% trust, not only believing that they are capable, but also believing that their ability is to help them complete a certain task. Most importantly, they will have a firm belief that [where there is a will, there is a way].
However, these feelings are not innate, but acquired through development. The most important source of these feelings is parents. Therefore, parents play an important role in the [grand undertaking] of building children’s self-confidence.
Parents are the people their children trust and love most. Children will naturally seek guidance, affirmation, learn all kinds of behaviors from their parents, and explore the world through their parents. Because with the protection of their parents, they will have more trust in the world and dare to take steps towards success fearlessly.
So, as parents, what what can we do in cultivating children’s self-confidence?
How to build self-confidence?
- Affirmative-Timely Feedback: When you find that your child shows positive qualities, please give him timely feedback.
For example, when your child has finished a painting, you can say to him, “You painted great, your painting impressed me deeply.”
When your child completes a jigsaw puzzle, you can say to him: “Wow, you have put it together so skillfully. It’s amazing.”
Feedback should be timely and specific.
For example, when your child sings you the new song he is learning today, Don’t just absently reply: [You’re awesome]. You can put your hands down for a while, Listening to him sing a song with rapt attention (the time for a song is only a minute or two), Then tell him sincerely: [Baby, You sing really well, I’m so proud of you that you learned such a long song in such a short time. Next time you learn a new song, remember to sing it to your mother/father.] If you still have enough time, you may as well let your child teach you to sing this song. In such interaction, besides helping your child build self-confidence, your relationship will be closer.
Adhering to such positive feedback will sow the seeds of self-confidence in children’s hearts.
- Believe-Full Trust: Children are sensitive and they can feel how you feel about them. When you give them full trust, they will also begin to increase their trust in themselves.
For example, if you think your child’s room needs to be tidied up, under the condition of ensuring safety, you can let him tidy up his own room completely independently and tell him: [You can decorate your room completely according to your own ideas, as long as you like.] At the same time, don’t forget to let him know that you can help him at any time as long as he needs it.
Let him do it himself and let him feel your complete trust in him.
- Faith-Endless Encouragement: We all know that we should encourage our children more, but in fact, for many parents, it is very difficult to encourage their children all the time.
For example, how would you react when your child suddenly came to tell you that he wanted to be a musician in the future? Have you ever said something like this: [the probability of success of this dream is very small, you’d better consider changing your dream.]
When you say this sentence, can you feel the child’s depression? Perhaps you will also refute: [I did this all for his own good, unrealistic dreams will only waste his time.] However, do you know, the child’s dreams are always changing, and perhaps he will soon forget his dream of becoming a musician, but he will never forget the feeling you bring him when he excitedly comes to share his dreams with you.
If you encourage him, he will continue to encourage himself. If you deny him, he will gradually begin to deny himself.
Encouraging children to try, even if they fail, is a meaningful experience.
Of course, it is also necessary to help children to evaluate the feasibility, otherwise it is always too difficult to do things, always experience blows, and will also hinder the establishment of self-confidence.
Who doesn’t want to have a happy and confident child, then why can’t you give him endless encouragement and believe that his dream can be realized like him?
Use more [you can] and talk less [you can’t].
- See Your Skills: Children need to see their own skills and feel that they can accomplish some things.
For example, suppose your child is learning to play the piano, He is playing more and more skillfully now, and we can encourage him to take part in some performance competitions. When he succeeds in performance competitions, he will be proud of his skill and also of himself. His self-confidence will increase, and he will be more confident when performing his skill in front of others.
Isn’t it equally meaningful to let a child master a skill, not for the purpose of future development, but simply to help him build self-confidence?
Can traumatized children build confidence?
-Do all children have the ability to build self-confidence?
-Yes.
-Are there any children who will encounter obstacles in building self-confidence?
-Yes.
In fact, too many children have experienced trauma during their growing up (parents divorced, died young, ill-treatment, beating, etc), There are even more children, From a very young age, They are labeled as “poor students”. These children will need to spend more time and energy on mental health and building self-confidence. But fortunately, As long as more work is done, it is entirely possible to help these children build self-confidence. Practice has proved that through guidance, education, psychological treatment and creative activities, many such children begin to regain self-confidence.
To affirm, believe, believe.
Self-confidence is based on the discovery of one’s own strengths. When parents show full trust and firm belief in their children, their confidence will continue to increase and they will also have firmer belief in their abilities.
Step by step, day by day, they will become more confident.