Some time ago, Dr. Clove conducted a survey on wanting to have a second child. The survey showed that 40% of the people did not want to have a second child and 40% wanted to have a second child respectively, which was the same! In addition, nearly 20% of the families already have two babies.
Regarding whether to have a second child or not, let’s look at a group of selected messages from everyone.
Reasons for wanting or not wanting to have a second child
Don’t have a second child party: economic conditions, no one to bring baby is the main reason
@ chick
At present, the girl is one year old soon, and she has no idea of having a second child. She feels that she needs good economic conditions and a good body. Moreover, she brought her own child, expressing her fear of having a second child. Fortunately, her husband understands that others give birth to her. He will say that she is not in a hurry and feels very satisfied at present.
@ DO VIS
Think about my experience of resigning alone and taking care of my baby at home. I don’t want two treasures even if I am killed!
@ Fairy Wangwang
Some people help to take care of it, and the economy also allows it, but there is only one child. Love should be single-minded.
Want to have a second child party: one is too lonely and the two have a companion,
@ da_zhou
I have always had the idea of having a second child, because I have a younger brother and several brothers and sisters of my parents, so many brothers and sisters in this world are one more brother and sister, and when my parents are old, they can help each other and take care of each other. My family Dabao is now nine months old, and when he is two years old, he is ready to have a second child. They can be friends with each other ~
@ Doodle Niang
If one child is difficult to bring, the two will be much better. You can eat and play together without your mother’s company. My family will say every day that they want their younger brother or sister to play together and are ready to give birth to another one.
Extremely entangled with the Party: Do you dare to ask for it or not, then consider it later
@ Shark
When I gave birth to a baby, I was so painful that I was determined not to have a second child. After giving birth, I saw that the girl from other people’s family was so cute that I was thinking about when I would have a second child for only two months.
@ mary
Alas, after the scar is healed, forget the pain. If you want it, you are afraid that you may not be too tired. Wait for the eldest brother to go to kindergarten before considering it.
Whether to have a second child or not is the choice of every family. There are many aspects to consider. Apart from factors such as economy and who will take care of the baby, many mothers hesitate and want to know-
To have a second child, how old is the best between the eldest and the second?
Today, Dr. Clove invited two experts (also father) from obstetrics and gynecology and child psychology to talk about this topic from health and education respectively.
In terms of health, it is best to conceive again one and a half years to two years after the first child.
When it comes to the best age for women to give birth, many mothers know that it is 25-35 years old. However, when it comes to the impact of the interval between babies on the health of Mabao, everyone is not very clear: mothers who give birth smoothly can have babies again in half a year? A mother who has a caesarean section cannot be pregnant again until three years later?
Dr. Tian said that from a scientific point of view, it is best for the health of the mother and the baby to get pregnant one and a half to two years after the first child (the children are 2.5 to 3 years apart).
If it is a mother who has a caesarean section, it is better to conceive two treasures after one and a half years, because after caesarean section, the body needs to recover longer and the interval should be longer.
At the end of last century, the New England Journal published a study on more than 170,000 newborns born in Utah in the past eight years.
The study found an interesting [J-curve], that is to say, the risks of premature delivery and low birth weight gradually decrease with the increase of the interval between two births at first, reach the lowest risk at 1.5 to 2 years, and then start to increase with the increase of the interval between two births.
Specifically, the risk of getting pregnant again one and a half years to two years after giving birth to the previous child is about 1.4 times that of less than half a year and 1.5-2 times that of more than 10 years.
In addition, regarding the interval between cesarean section mothers and pregnancy again, The conclusion is also relatively consistent, that is, it is recommended to conceive again after more than one and a half years, and the incidence of complications during pregnancy and childbirth is relatively low. The risk of complications will also increase if the interval is too long. Previous studies have found that the risk of complications will increase significantly if the interval is more than 13 years for scar uterus (caesarean section).
Therefore, only from the perspective of perinatal health of mother and child, it is an ideal interval to conceive a second child one and a half to two years after giving birth to the first child.
What should I do if I am pregnant before I have been pregnant for a year and a half? Don’t worry, the interval is only relatively risky. If scientific pregnancy management can be carried out, there will be no big problem with what.
From the perspective of children’s education and feeding, different age differences have their own advantages and disadvantages.
As for the time to have a second child, some people may say that it is better to have a second child later, and the older ones know how to be humble and the younger ones. Some people may say that it is better to have a baby earlier, and the two babies will save worry and effort together. Is this actually the case? Judging from many years of family parenting counseling experience, the time interval between the birth of the two babies has its own advantages and disadvantages.
Teacher Zuo Fei summed up many years of experience in parenting counseling for families with multiple births. The time interval between the birth of the two babies is exquisite and has its advantages and disadvantages.
The difference between the two children is less than 3 years old.
@ Little Jingjing
Dabao gave birth smoothly, Six months later, she got pregnant unexpectedly and had two treasures. Despite the help of the family, However, I still feel that I am unable to do everything I can. Pregnancy vomiting reaction strong body feel empty panic, Finally, Dabao had to be weaned, Dabao was less than two years old when he gave birth to Er Bao. It was just when I was needed to accompany him. I had to take care of Er Bao by confinement. In retrospect, almost all the most important time in the first three years of Dabao was taken care of by Grandma and I was not very close. If it could be regenerated at intervals of one or two years, it would be better in terms of child care and education.
@ graceful mama
The eldest brother was pregnant with the second child when he was one year old. Looking back on that time, he was really able to take care of this and that. He was extremely tired. Fortunately, now the eldest brother is four years old and the second child is two and a half years old. They can play and eat together and don’t use me very much to accompany him.
@ Stupid Mom
My two treasures came when Dabao was nearly 3 years old. It was really caught off guard. Dabao’s character suddenly changed and he often shouted loudly to make Erbao unable to sleep. Although I also know that he just wanted to attract our attention, he just couldn’t be separated. Seeing him making trouble, he was angry and guilty. The two babies are not easy to take.
If the age difference between the eldest and the second in the family is no more than 3 years old, they will encounter similar troubles and challenges:
1. Both babies are too young and it is very hard to take them at the same time.
2. The eldest brother is still [ignorant] and [unfriendly] to his younger brother/sister.
Generally speaking, families with two children who differ by less than 3 years are likely to be caught up in endless quarrels and robberies of babies every day, including the competition for toys and food and the competition for mothers.
However, this state of affairs will probably continue from the eldest brother to about 2 years old to the third grade of primary school.
This is because, The average child will meet a leap in growth every 2-3 years, However, starting from the first big rebellion period at the age of 2, each leap period may face the rebellion and noise of the baby. If the age gap between the big baby and the second baby is within 3 years, it is very likely that the big baby and the second baby will enter their own leap rebellion period at the same time. This may be disastrous for ordinary families.
Therefore, in families where the age difference between the two children is not big, parents need to pay more than twice as much effort as the only child in education to maintain and take care of the relationship between the children before, and more care for the eldest brother’s emotions.
Of course, it is also beneficial for the two babies to be under 3 years old: parents are not [unfamiliar] with the first child’s parenting experience, and skills can be seamlessly transferred to the second child. In addition, the eldest child and the second child are of the same age, so playing with parents is more worry-free.
The difference between the two children is more than 3 years old.
@ Mrs.Xue
My brother is 3 years old and 3 months old, and my sister was born. My brother loves my sister very much, and occasionally when I am too busy, my brother will help to look after my sister. It is really warm.
@ Rice Noodles
The difference between the daughter and the son is 4 years old, and the eldest brother is relatively mature, so he will take the initiative to share the housework or take care of the younger brother, occasionally bullying the younger brother but not very violent. The only trouble is that the elder sister doesn’t care to play with the younger brother at all… Every day the younger brother cries for any rejection of the elder sister…
@ Wisdom Butterfly
Dabao belongs to monkey, and Erbao also belongs to monkey. There is a difference of a whole round. Although I won’t play together much, the first thing my brother does when he comes back from school every day is to hug his sister first. I can’t stand to have a real body after such a long interval, but I am tired and happy.
If the eldest and second children are over 3 years old, when the second child enters the rebellious period at the age of 2, the eldest child is already 5 years old and gradually sensible (and has already attended kindergarten). Parents can have the opportunity and enough time to guide the eldest child to help their parents take care of the second child.
In this way, on the one hand, there is a more obvious difference between the old and the young in the family, and the interests and hobbies between the babies will gradually be misplaced with the growth of age. The eldest brother will establish a sense of security, easily accept the second, and will also reduce the chances of competing and slapstick with each other.
However, if the age gap between the eldest and the second is too large, there will also be a problem: the two children have different needs for play and cannot play together.
Summary:
No matter from the perspective of health or education, the ideal age interval between the first child and the second child is 2 ~ 3 years old.
If it is a mother who gives birth smoothly, she can have a second child if she recovers well.
If it is a caesarean mother, it is better to have a baby after 18 months.
The age gap between the two children is only a matter of possibility, and each age interval has its advantages and disadvantages. However, it is not absolute. The key still depends on the level of parents’ family education, the impact on family education and children’s psychology and other factors.