Many people say that [marriage is the grave of love]. The complicated life makes people exhausted physically and mentally. Without mutual understanding, the boat of marriage turns over.
However, some people also say that [marriage is the sublimation of love]. As long as communication is timely as when in love, the happiness of gold and silver marriages is not a myth.
Brooklyn and her lover in the United States, like many people, have their own jobs and raise a little baby. They are always troubled by housework and have little time to communicate.
In order to make the marriage stronger, they did one thing: sit down according to a fixed schedule and hold family meetings.
Let’s follow Brooklyn’s description and think about the changes that family meetings may bring.
If you don’t change, it will be very bad.
Like many ordinary families, my lover and I live a very busy life.
Busy has become the living condition of every modern person. Everyone is busy with promotion, making money and expanding their network.
People with some spiritual needs want to pursue their interests in their spare time, but they inevitably get tired of housework. This busy state makes us neglect the maintenance of our feelings.
I don’t know when, we find that each other is no longer reasonable, no longer clever and considerate. Although we still love each other very much, we have no time to get along with each other and communicate, so we no longer understand each other as we did when we were in love.
For me, it is a bit absurd to hold a formal family meeting with only two people present every day. Can’t we talk about it when we encounter specific problems? Don’t we communicate with each other every day?
Later, I found that when some problems really appear in life, people are often in a bad mood, and at this time they will not communicate rationally and positively.
We will look forward to talking about these issues when things get better and everyone is happy. As a result, it is conceivable that we will never implement these things.
Especially after having children, they will not have the energy and time to solve those problems well. As a result, the dust of life will become thicker and thicker.
Sitting down and communicating can solve practical problems.
To be honest, I am a person who hates meetings very much. I have always believed that with so many things to do at ordinary times, we should not waste our time in meetings.
But my lover doesn’t think so.
Before we got married, she lived in a large family. There are many people and people. In many cases, people cannot agree with each other. Meeting to decide these matters is obviously the most effective way.
Although I found various reasons to push off at the beginning, I had to compromise in the end-because after several family meetings, many things were indeed solved better.
After a period of time when we insisted on holding regular meetings every week, there was a period of time when we were extremely busy and did not meet as usual, resulting in many problems that could not be communicated in time. After only two weeks, we quarreled about some things almost every day.
Only then did I realize that meetings have become our necessity.
Like a real meeting
The procedure for our meeting is as follows:
Usually every Tuesday night, after finishing everything, we sit down together.
At the beginning, everyone said for one minute, it can be that they are doing what recently and thinking about what, such as [I have suffered from insomnia recently] [I have had a good week], during which the other party can only listen and cannot interrupt.
After that, everyone can ask questions or future plans, such as [I don’t think I can do the dishes alone] [My mother wants to have dinner with us next week, do you think it is OK]. Then discuss one by one according to the contents of the agenda and make records at the same time.
Although this may sound a bit boring and even neurotic, our relationship is indeed developing in a good direction.
The ushering in of [a beautiful era]
The meeting gave us time to talk to each other and talk about our troubles, and our mood was suddenly enlightened.
Talking about our imagination about the future, we feel that our life is full of hope again. This makes us feel each other’s attention and listening to each other, making up for the emotional gap in the initial stage.
Meetings give us the opportunity to talk about things that we may forget in our daily life.
When both of them need to go to work, the children need to be taken care of, the pets need to be fed, and the housework needs to be taken care of. All these can be assigned tasks at the weekly meeting to ensure that everything is carried out in an orderly way.
We will share the responsibility of taking care of the children together, instead of giving all the tasks to one person.
We will understand each other’s views on certain things and then make decisions together, instead of unilaterally taking it for granted that each other is what I think.
After each meeting, we feel closer to each other’s hearts and more confident in our future life.
Change from now on
Although husband and wife meet every day, how much time does it take to communicate?
If you and your lover are busy with your work all day and have less and less time to communicate, perhaps you can really try to make regular family meetings a habit in your life:
- Once a week or once a fortnight, two people take a complete period of time and sit down for a meeting without being disturbed by anything. At ordinary times, write down what you want to say at the meeting, which can be a big event in your family or a trivial matter in your life. Two people take turns to preside over the meeting, recording and distributing the things to be done during the week. If the child grows up, he can let the child participate in the meeting to cultivate his sense of responsibility. After the meeting, you can write down the next things to do on paper and stick them in a conspicuous position. The two must ensure that they will never quarrel and communicate rationally in order to solve the problem.