The child is so young, he knows what!
Does this sound familiar? But is the child really still young about the [difference between men and women]?
Dr. Clove invited teacher Hu Jiawei, a child sex educator, who will tell everyone about the correct way for parents to carry out sex education in the face of [young children].
First, I’d like to talk to you about a few real examples.
Case 1:
Not long ago, a mother in Jiaxing, Zhejiang, took her son to swim, but the administrator resolutely refused to let the 4-year-old boy enter the female dressing room. The mother was very wronged and felt that the child was still young and the father did not come. There was water everywhere nearby. She did not trust the child, but the administrator aunt always disagreed.
Case 2:
A few days ago, I happened to meet a consultant, who said that when I went to the shopping mall bathroom at ordinary times, I often met my mother with a little boy of two or three years old into the women’s bathroom. For a boy who suddenly came in, she still had some discomfort in her heart, even if the other party was only a 3-year-old boy.
The person who asked me this question also knew that the child was still young, and it was impossible for the child to hold it all the time without his father. There seemed to be no better way than to take him to the women’s toilet.
Many people think that children aged three or four already have gender awareness and are not suitable for taking to the dressing room or toilet of the opposite sex, but in my opinion, even if children of this age do not have gender awareness, they are not suitable for taking.
Why do you say that?
Although he is small, he is still a man.
In fact, everyone knows that the child is young, so it is really not at ease to let him change clothes alone in the men’s dressing room, but why was the mother’s behavior opposed instead of being understood in the first case?
This is because when we imagine ourselves standing naked in front of a man, we will have a feeling that our nudity and privacy will be seen in a glance, which will make us very uncomfortable, even if the other party is only a 4-year-old child.
Therefore, the most important reason why it is not suitable to take the child to the dressing room of the opposite sex is not that the child has gender awareness, but that such behavior will make others uncomfortable.
In sex education, what is more important than popularizing sex knowledge is that we should teach our children to learn respect.
Yes, although you are still young, you are still a boy and should know how to respect others.
Does this mean that only other people’s feelings matter? No, the answer is not.
Respect children’s feelings and their privacy.
Most of the time we change clothes for our children and don’t pay much attention to separating the boys and girls.
In fact, parents should not only separate boys from girls, but also every girl or every boy. Of course, in real life, there are many times because of special circumstances, which cannot be completely avoided, but mothers should keep an awareness: we need to consider the feelings of our children.
Even if the children are small and they don’t care, adults should tell the children that you have privacy and you need to protect your privacy.
If the child says that he is shy or does not want to change clothes with other boys, parents must never tell the child: you are so young, which is so fastidious, bear it.
In fact, we are not unable to avoid it. If it is an adult who proposes this kind of discomfort, we will certainly find ways to deal with this special situation. However, how many people are willing to spend a lot of time taking care of a child’s shyness and discomfort?
Perhaps most people think that the child is still young and has no gender awareness. It doesn’t matter…
Children have no gender awareness? No, it’s not
Children’s gender awareness may be earlier than we thought.
Some studies show that:
Nearly 1 year old: can distinguish male and female photos by the length of hair;
2 ~ 3 years old: know that father is a boy and mother is a girl;
Less than 3 years old: almost all children know whether they are boys or girls;
3 ~ 5 years old: think that as long as you are willing to change clothes or hairstyle, you can become another sex;
After the age of 5: True understanding of gender is generally unchangeable.
In this way, children will have gender awareness at an early age, so sex education should start as soon as the child is born.
To help children understand their physiological gender and gradually guide them to learn social norms is to help children better integrate into society.
Yes, when a child knows that he is a boy, he must know that he should go to the men’s toilet.
Who is the person who needs sex education?
We always say that the target of children’s sex education is children. In fact, parents are the first people who need sex education.
Sex education is not only about telling children that the place covered by underpants and vests is our private part, Can’t show others, can’t give others touch], but let them know, abide by social norms is respect for others, although you are small, but you will still affect others, also let them know, you have to protect yourself, you feel uncomfortable to speak out, your privacy and feelings are very important.
Sex education is not enough for a professional teacher to say a lot of words. It needs to be integrated into every bit of life. Parents’ words, deeds and values are the best sex education for children.
Are you ready?