There are more than a dozen toy cars in the family.
Piggy Page dolls add up to 20.
Every time I go out and ask for this or that, do I want to buy it for Eva?
Things are not expensive, but children cannot buy whatever they want.
I believe every parent has had such a tangle. Some parents will worry:
- Buy whatever the child wants. Will it make it too easy for the baby to cherish? Don’t buy it, the baby began to cry and make noise, thinking that things are not particularly expensive, watching the baby cry pear flowers with rain is so poor…
When children have material desires and want [buy buy to buy], what should parents do?
Today, we invited Chang Run, a teacher with 8 years of kindergarten teaching experience, to talk about how to deal with the situation according to the situation.
When children want to buy in buy buy, these three things cannot be done.
1. Rough refusal
[Buy what, buy you also don’t play]
When children ask for something, some parents will refuse it directly, and some will open Xianglin sister-in-law mode, criticizing children for all kinds of historical misdeeds: [buy it but don’t play, pile it up at home……]
Even, some parents will directly drag the crying children away from the scene. Such a rough refusal will not only be useless, but will also hurt the children’s hearts.
Excessive restriction of children’s material desires will sow uneasy seeds in children, but will make children have excessive obsession with certain materials.
STEP 2 Trick away
[OK, let’s go first and buy it next time]
[Can I buy it again next time] has become the mantra of many parents to coax their children, but this is really not a good way.
Even if it is coaxed once or twice, it will fail three times or four times.
In the long run, children will have self-doubt and even lose their trust in their parents in such repetitions: [Why do you cheat people? ]
3. Unconditional satisfaction
[It’s not that I can’t afford it. I’ll buy it if I like it]
Many people believe that the expression of loving children lies in agreeing to all the material needs of children in time. This concept is especially easy to be reflected in the elderly who are separated from each other.
Continuously and unconditionally meeting children’s material needs, children will have what if they want what, which will make children lack of [sense of value] knowledge of goods.
Some children will think [it doesn’t matter if they lose or break it anyway, they can also buy it for me], and naturally they won’t know how to cherish it.
Don’t buy it in buy buy, use the sense of acquisition to satisfy children’s material desires.
Children want a toy, which is more an emotional need than a material need.
Therefore, when facing the child to buy buy, don’t label the child as “pushing your luck” [greedy]. While understanding the child, even if you don’t buy it, parents can also provide a better sense of acquisition to satisfy the child.
Let’s talk about the situation:
1. The toys the baby wants already exist at home.
If the toys or clothes your baby wants to buy already have similar ones or even several at home, you can say:
You see, there are already the same little pandas and dinosaurs in the family. You see, it turns out that our baby already has so many doll friends.
The baby may have forgotten all about it? Poor little panda, waiting for you to play with him.
Well, let’s take them out when we go home and play games together?
When talking to your child, parents must be full of feelings. When your child is infected by you, most of them will not be persistent and look forward to playing toys with their mother when they go home.
2. Others have what they want, but Eva does not
After the baby has a fixed playmate or enters the kindergarten, he may not be able to join the conversation of other small partners because he does not have the same toy:
Lily and Ning Ning both have Elsa’s skirt. You can also buy one for me.
In fact, at this time, the baby does not have to be the same as others, but does not understand why others can have it, while I do not.
At this time, parents can help the baby understand why our family does not have it in a positive way, such as telling the baby:
Mom and Dad are saving money to go on vacation. Can you imagine our family going to XXX together? It will definitely be more interesting.
After that, when the students talk again, the baby will not be embarrassed because he does not have it. He can also tell the students gracefully:
[I don’t have Elsa’s skirt, but our family is saving money to travel on New Year’s Day.]
Other babies will understand that different families have different priorities.
Small value goods [delegate power], agree on the number of purchases
Is it true that what cannot buy anything for children? The answer is no.
In the consultation, I often meet some mothers who say that their children have some obsession:
Children want to buy small toys on the roadside when they see them, which is only a few dollars, but they don’t play much when they buy them.
My daughter especially likes the small toys in chocolate eggs. She has bought them many times. Do you want to buy them for her?
These small toys are not expensive, but parents always feel [unnecessary] and buy them in waste.
However, let’s think about it, did we also love this kind of toys with [surprises] when we were young?
If you can surprise your child at a very low price, why not?
In this case, we can agree with the baby on the number of times we can buy things each time we go out. As for one or two times, it depends on the family situation:
Baby, you can only buy one toy today. After buying this, you can’t buy any other toys. So are you sure this is what you want most, or do you want to see something else?
We have agreed that we can only buy it once a week. Today is Tuesday. If we buy it, we can only buy it next Tuesday.
Different children will make different judgments under such circumstances. After the children make their own decisions, we just need to respect their ideas.
This method, many mothers feedback is very effective, in their children [tried and tested].
This approach can make the baby understand that mothers can satisfy you and respect your thoughts, but it is not unconditionally satisfied.
Great value toys, make a good agreement, encourage children to obtain through hard work
Although the above methods are more effective, for children, sometimes they really like them, for example, a toy talks for several days and drools with longing when watching others play…
As parents, when children look at a toy that exceeds their budget, they will also struggle: [Children like it so much, can’t they really buy it? ]
Here is a unique trick-wish list. Mothers can say this:
Mom knows that you especially like that toy, and I also think that toy is cool.
We put it on your wish list. Wait for the next birthday or festival, if you still want it, then we will buy it.
Sometimes it is a long time before a birthday or festival, and the child will feel a little depressed. At this time, you can use another kind of motivation to achieve it.
I can see that you really like it. If you want to get it soon, my father and I can arrange some housework for you to help share.
If you can help your parents tidy up the living room for a week in a row, your parents will reward you.
These housework cannot be too simple, it should be challenging for the baby, but it can be learned under the guidance of adults and completed independently.
If children can persist in completing, when they get this toy, they will be able to understand that it is not easy to get what they want through labor. At the moment of harvesting toys, I will also feel more fulfilled.
Today, I have taught you so many ways to deal with children’s material desires. Have mothers learned them?
The next time the baby cried and said, “Mom, when I want to buy this], smart you must know how to do it!”