[Tomorrow after tomorrow, how many tomorrow], it is about procrastination. Today we invited teacher Ye Zhuang, a member of the American Association of Psychological Science, to talk about children’s procrastination.
Every time the temperature in Beijing drops sharply, my mother will call me several times in a row, with only one theme: wearing long Johns.
My eldest brother was reluctant to push off all the time. The old lady was angry: “Do something to grind chirp, just like when I was a child!” ]
It seems that I have been suffering from procrastination since I was a child. It is a [chronic disease].
Adults call procrastination, children call dawdling.
Parents are nervous about their children’s dawdling for no more than two reasons: dawdling delays the pace of life; If you don’t care, today’s dawdling may become tomorrow’s laziness.
Why do children dawdle?
For children over 5 years old, deliberate dawdling is usually not laziness, dawdling is a kind of opposition. When playing games, everyone is diligent.
However, for children under the age of 5, dawdling is more due to their inability to fully understand the relationship between things and to complete the planning of future behaviors.
The principle of dealing with children’s dawdling.
For young children, there are no more than two principles for parents to deal with their children’s procrastination:
First of all, help the child solve a core problem: [Do you have what relations with me to do this? ]
It is difficult for parents to return to their children’s perspective to see the world. In fact, children do not have a good understanding of the relationship between [dressing] and [going out with the whole family], nor do they understand that [going to bed quickly] is to save their energy for tomorrow.
It is necessary for us to help the child interpret-doing this now is related to how.
Secondly, find ways to stimulate children’s behavioral motivation and stimulate children’s physical and mental state of [doing some what].
When people are lazy, they will definitely not take the initiative to do this and that. An absent child, like an absent adult, really has no interest in some unattractive things and people.
Sometimes the reason is too complicated to make sense to children. It is better to directly stimulate children to enter a better physical and mental state and to promote them to become nervous.
Specific Ways to Improve Children’s Dawdling
As for the methods, I think there are four methods that are very worthy of adoption:
Prepare in advance
On the eve of each business trip, I packed my luggage-clothes, toiletries, computers, certificates, all of which were indispensable. We also have a colleague who rushed to the airport every time because he packed his luggage too late, sweating profusely, but never repenting again and again.
Preparing in advance is exactly a good way to fight against dawdling. Questions like [wear this or that] are the most time-wasting.
My son is now in kindergarten. His homework is written on the first day, his clothes are picked out on the first day, and his schoolbag is packed on the first day. When I get up every day, I have to give out what I should wear and what I should do. In fact, I have to give it out in an orderly way.
Now my son has to choose which clothes to wear to school tomorrow (even underwear) from time to time, which is very good and I support it very much.
After all, you can only find the rhythm when you know it.
To increase the competitiveness of behavior
Children may not like to dress obediently, but children always like games and prefer competitive games.
Many parents are full of thinking [let their children sleep a little longer], wake up their children only after they have cleaned them up, and then abandon their children’s dawdling.
In fact, you are all dressed, of course he is too slow.
Why can’t we let the children come with us, and why can’t we turn what we have to do into a small competition?
Solve [or how if not] a problem
I found that in many families, children do not have to pay for dawdling. If they dawdle again, their parents will also let them get to school on time, finish their homework, and wear neat clothes and shoes.
Since there is no price for dawdling, why work hard? There is always a cost to dawdle, which is fair to diligence.
Parents Less Two Words of Nonsense
It is the norm for many parents to be earnest and earnest. In order to make slow children do some what, parents sometimes become Tang’s monk in < < Chinese Odyssey > >. Asking for help sometimes turns into petty thoughts, and the strength and effect will be reduced.
Let the child do what you say, ask not to become the old lady’s smelly and long foot wrapping cloth. In the army, every order is very direct [at ease! Attention! Turn right! ] Let a person listen to want to follow.
At home, you should also learn from and ask for help. You don’t need to be strict, but you need to be direct enough.
Small Case: Finally, I would like to share a case around me for your reference.
I have a friend who has two children in his family. Arguably, it is very troublesome for their family to dress their children in the morning, because with two children, the workload has to be multiplied by two and the management difficulty has to be multiplied by two.
But he is never late for work.
Because their children have to go through a relay race every morning, they never dawdle. In this competition, the children win or lose each other, but fortunately there are competitions every day, and the children are even more happy.
In the process of organizing the competition, my friend has three commendable ways:
Set multiple consecutive goals for the competition to turn it into a triathlon instead of a 100-meter sprint. Every morning, his requirements are very direct and brief: [Wear clothes first! Wash your face again! Brush your teeth again! Have breakfast again! Put on your shoes again and go! ] But the next morning, he may adjust the order of activities or add or delete some small links. In this way, the playability of the game will be greatly enhanced and the children will not feel boring.
Give the competition a piece of background music. He said the best thing to make is this < > William Thiel Overture. The song itself is easy to stimulate people’s vitality and can lead children into the state very quickly.
I sincerely encourage the child who wins, and the one who fails, but also sincerely encourage him to perform better in other competition links today. To be honest, I think his approach not only makes the child not dawdle, but also cultivates the child’s ability to resist setbacks, which is really good.