As long as a few children play together, there will always be unhappiness in robbing toys and snacks. Children always seem to like robbing things with others.
The consequence is that children will cry at least, and at least it may lead to conflicts between families.
Many parents feel that it is too shameful for their children to rob toys with other people’s children, so they force their children to share toys and snacks with other children. However, in this way, children will not only fail to learn, but may also have rebellious mentality.
In fact, this is not the child’s fault. Parents should know that when they are in what, they should let their children learn to share and how to teach them to share.
Sooner or later, children have to grow up, leave their pampered parents and face the society alone, which requires them to understand the principle of cooperation with others.
Being willing to share with others can not only help children win friendship, but also prevent them from being excluded from the group because of selfishness.
Therefore, one of the core contents of early childhood education is to teach children to integrate into the group.
However, for most children, sharing is a very strange concept. How to help babies understand the concept of sharing has become a difficult problem.
Why should children share it?
Before encouraging children to learn to share, parents need to think about a question: Why do you want your children to share?
Betsy Mann, a family education instructor in Ottawa, Canada, said: “Many parents insist that their children learn to share because if their children do not want to share, they will lose face in front of other parents.”
At the same time, Mann also mentioned that children’s sharing behavior should not be forced, [if they are angry with children for sharing, children will feel that sharing is associated with reprimand], but will lead to resistance.
It is normal that preschool children do not want to share.
I don’t know if parents have found out that when there are other children in the family, the baby will begin to pay attention to a toy that is usually neglected.
Once other children start playing with these toys, the baby will argue with them, and the originally happy and peaceful atmosphere will be drowned by tears of crying and injustice.
Babies need not worry too much about this phenomenon. For most preschool babies, it is normal that they cannot understand the concept of [sharing].
Because preschool babies are more willing to understand [mine], on the contrary, they are not willing to understand the meaning of the word [share].
Mann said, “When children’s social skills, emotional experience and cognitive development are enhanced, they naturally learn to share.”
For many children, sharing means taking things away from others. Children do not have the concept of sharing. If they want what things, they must monopolize them.
[Sharing] It’s actually different,
When children go to kindergarten, they can be taught to share.
But at this time, parents often use the word [share] in different situations without similarity:
- Let children share quilts: this does not need to be used in turn or given to others; Sharing toys: need to take turns to use them; Share cookies: You need to give half to others, and this half will not come back.
These are several completely different situations, which can easily lead to confusion in children’s understanding.
Therefore, it is very important that parents first need to be aware of the differences in these situations and adjust their requirements for their children according to these differences.
Some Ways to Make Children Learn [Share]
In fact, we can try to guide children to learn to share through the following ways:
Cultivation from an early age: When a child can grasp things with his hand, he can begin to teach him how [sharing].
You can pass this thing back and forth with the baby and say [it’s my turn to play, it’s your turn to play].
Learning to rotate and own an item is the first step for babies to learn to share.
Parents demonstrate in person: You can practice interesting sharing with your baby at home.
- Tell the baby that if he hugs you, you will be willing to share the sofa with him. Or when eating together, discuss changing food with him.
The subtle influence of ideas: Mann suggests that children aged 3 and above should participate in cooperative games, but there should be no individual winners in the games.
Let children gradually accept the state of cooperation, can also improve children’s acceptance of sharing.
When playing with other partners, bring a timer: when more than one child wants to play with the same toy:
- After asking the child to play for a period of time, when he hears the timer, he should give his toys to his friends. When the timer rings again, let the children exchange toys again.
Of course, before implementation, remember to tell each other’s parents in advance to ensure that both sides agree to such rules of the game.
In this way, children can know that giving toys to others is not permanent, which does not mean that they will lose the toys forever.
Praise your children more: every child likes to be praised.
First, by encouraging children to maintain their dominant power in conflicts, they can have less sense of hostility to others.
When other children compete with your children for toys, what parents should do is to control other children’s impulse to rob and persuade our children with words instead.
Second, when children take the initiative to share, parents must give specific praise instead of saying in general terms [what a good child].
Parents are advised to praise their children in this way: [Did you see Xiao Ming’s expression when you gave him the pickup truck? He really likes this truck, you did a great job].
This kind of praise can make the child notice that the encouragement comes from one of his specific behaviors, and when similar situations occur again, he will tend to share it with other children.
Don’t let the child [give up his love with pain]
Parents should not think that as long as they force their children to share, they will obediently obediently and voluntarily share in the future. Under the constant pressure of parents, children cannot understand the real meaning of sharing and may also have some strange ideas:
- As long as I cry miserably enough, even if others want it again, the toy is mine. Whoever makes the most noise gets the most. I hate other children, they always rob me; I have to become greedy to get what belongs to me. Someone will always rob my toys. I must always be ready.
Every child has the instinct to protect himself. Although most children do not understand the difference between [yours] and [mine] until they are about 3 years old, they are born to know the difference between [fair] and [unfair].
In short, children should be given a certain degree of freedom, with guidance as the main factor and not forced.
Therefore, parents should also remember the following two points when letting their children learn to share:
- Don’t let children think that whenever anyone wants their toys, they have to give up their love reluctantly and have no other choice. Don’t just insist, let children know that parents care about their feelings and needs.
Listen to Ding Ma, even if you want your children to learn to share, you can’t be forced in a hurry. You can use the correct method step by step, set an example, and teach your children how to tell them how to do it. The children will naturally understand.