Not long ago, Zuo Fei, a special author of Clove’s mother and an excellent family education consultant, received help from an anxious father:
My son is 2 years old, and I don’t know why he likes to play with dolls. He holds dolls every day, feeds them with water, injections and coaxes them to sleep…
Other boys are playing with pistol cars. My family has no interest in such toys at all. Instead, they play house with girls…
I really can’t bear it. Boys should have masculinity. How can they be so [sissy]? Is there any problem with sexual orientation?
Boys like toy cars while girls like to play house. Boys are suitable for blue and girls are suitable for pink. It seems that this is a set thinking in adults’ hearts.
[Boys Love to Play with Dolls] Is there any problem? Does it have what influence on children? Teacher Zuo Fei has a good talk with everyone.
Dolls, pistols, these are all [gender symbols]
Boys like toy cars and girls like to play house. In fact, these gender symbols that everyone thinks [should] are really not so [should].
Many girls will be interested in guns, while many boys are naturally interested in socializing and imitating social situation games (playing house). This is only the interest of children.
[Playing with dolls] and [wearing skirts] do not determine whether our boys are really [mothers] or have gender identity barriers. These inherent concepts are actually adult stereotypes.
In the United States, a toy company has introduced a boy doll for boys who like to play with dolls. There are also many posters for children: real boys can also play with dolls.
Egalia, a kindergarten in Sweden, even adopts [gender-free education] to advocate equality between men and women-all toys in the kindergarten are mixed together, tractors and dolls are put together, in order to encourage children to play with any toys they like.
[Society generally believes that girls should be gentle and beautiful, boys should be strong and wild, but they have the opportunity to do whatever they want.]
From another angle, playing with pistols and cars does make boys look [more manly], but in the process of playing with dolls, boys can learn to take care of dolls and manage emotions, and can be more sympathetic and empathetic.
Reasons for [heterosexual hobbies]
Why is my child so [different]?
1. Social environment
If children are in a social environment surrounded by the opposite sex for a long time, they may develop hobbies that favor the opposite sex because of the influence of the surrounding opposite sex.
For example, girls who grew up among boys also like pistol toys. It is not surprising that Jia Baoyu grew up with his sisters and sisters and liked girls’ powder and hairpin rings.
2. Oedipus or Oedipus plot
Most of the time we have had such parenting experiences: because we spend more time with our mother, boys may like to wear their mother’s high heels and wipe lipstick. Girls also like to play football or basketball because they spend more time with their father.
These seemingly strange behaviors may actually be that the child has Oedipus/Oedipus plot, that is, the child’s attachment to the mother/father, which makes the child very curious about the life style of the mother/father and wants to imitate it.
However, there is no obstacle for such children to identify with their gender, that is to say, they know that they are what’s gender and want to be their own gender.
3. Innate Interest
Excellent painters may be interested in various colors in their childhood, or they may have a special liking for pink. Boys who like to play house may be more sensitive to interpersonal relationships and pay more attention to the education of future generations in later marriages (when I was a child, ha, ha, ha).
Therefore, having these hobbies does not mean that children will really become [women] or [tomboys] in the future.
On the contrary, these may be a good signal for children’s future development.
How to guide children and establish correct gender identity?
Even so, many parents still hope that [boys are more manly and girls are softer] and that their children can develop better under the premise of upholding their nature.
Here are three suggestions:
1, the guidance of parents’ role models
Toy cars and pistols do not make boys know that they are [little men]. On the contrary, they want to be like their father, so they will imitate him only after seeing that his father likes cars and pistols.
In the process of establishing gender identity, same-sex parents should get along with their children more, so that children can get along with same-sex immediate parents more, so as to increase their gender identity.
2. Change the social environment
You can help your children sign up for some same-sex social activities and outdoor activities to enhance their knowledge of society. For example, boys join football teams and girls attend dance classes (provided that children are interested and do not reject them).
3. Accept the nature of children
Every child is unique. They are born with different personalities and hobbies. Simply suppressing and stopping will only make children feel ashamed and worried.
On the premise of not affecting the development of children’s gender cognition, only by moderately releasing children and releasing their nature can children’s advantages be better developed.