A video news on Weibo has aroused heated discussion.
A boy was reading English aloud in the bookstore. After the clerk politely reminded him, the boy actually pointed at the waiter and shouted, “Believe it or not, I smoke you?” ]
Then a woman who may be the parent of the child came over, forcibly pulled the boy away and said to the clerk, “He is still a child, don’t take a reason to him.”
Netizens commented in the comment area that this is not only a problem of children’s impoliteness, but also a problem of parents’ lack of discipline.
In fact, there are no born [bear] children, only undisciplined parents. Since childhood, they have not set rules for their children. When they grow up, society will certainly teach them that what is the rule.
Too early to establish rules for fear of strangling children’s nature, too late to worry about affecting character development. Then it is best to establish rules in what?
The Critical Period for Establishing Rules-After 2 Years Old and Before 6 Years Old
Before the age of 2, children lacked understanding and behavior control. Parents said what was what and there was no need to set rules for children in a hurry.
After the age of 2, the child enters the sensitive period of rules, gradually possesses independent consciousness and preliminary judgment ability, and enters the first independent period.
At this time, as long as parents discipline properly, the child will gradually grow into a self-disciplined person from the process of [challenging the rules] to [willing to cooperate with the rules after being reminded] and then to [abiding by the rules without reminding].
However, the establishment of rules also pays attention to the validity period. Li Meijin, a well-known psychology expert, once proposed that children must be given good rules before the age of 6.
She gave two vivid examples. A 3-to 4-year-old boy was making trouble with his parents, just rolling on the ground. But when the child is 14 years old, he can run away from home and commit suicide by jumping off a building.
It is too late to establish rules after the age of 6.
Two Principles of Establishing Rules-Gentleness and Firmness
Many parents will say, I will also set rules for my children, but why doesn’t it always work?
Parents can reflect on whether they have observed the two principles of establishing rules-gentleness and firmness.
Gentleness means that parents should control their emotions, not be angry, and reason with their children in a calm tone. While disciplining children, let them feel love.
Firmness means that once the rules are formulated, parents cannot compromise at will.
For example, parents have made a good rule with their children to watch cartoons for only 20 minutes a day. But when the 20 minutes are over, the child wants to watch them again and starts crying endlessly. Parents compromise after the child cried for 10 minutes.
In this way, the child will know that he can threaten his parents with crying, and next time he will only intensify his efforts, crying for 20 minutes or even half an hour.
Set up good rules and children will benefit all their lives.
Many parents are used to using parent-child communication, deception, violence and other methods to solve the problem of child-rearing, but this can only solve the contradiction temporarily, and the next time the child may clamor for toys and cry to watch cartoons.
Establishing rules is to solve the problem from the root, help the child grow into a self-disciplined person by cultivating his self-control ability, and establish the internal rules that benefit him for a lifetime.