On the weekend, I took my son to play in the small sand pit downstairs. After a while, a group of children gathered around my son. Looking at my son holding several glass balls and gesticulating with everyone, I stepped forward curiously.
Unexpectedly, I was shocked by what I overheard.
[I am the sun, the sun is powerful, it can bake people.]
[What about me? ]
[You hold this red ball, you are Mars. There are many volcanoes above you that can eject flames.]
…….
This knowledge is OK. If it weren’t for hearing it with my own ears, I really don’t believe it popped out of the mouth of a 4-year-old baby, what [Cosmic Explosion] [Star Wars]……
Even the mother next door was attracted and could not help asking me: “What class did you enroll him in? How did he know so much?” ]
[I didn’t enroll in any class, but I watched TV at home.] Watching her overflow with envy in my eyes, I really got to the bottom.
As a result, the light in her eyes went out in a second and her face changed instantly: [TV is not good for children to watch all the time and hurts her eyes. Our family has never bought TV for the sake of children.]
After listening to her words, if I had held her hand two years ago, I would have been moved to tears: [Comrade, I have finally found you, so have I! ]
But now I have already wanted to open it completely. I not only bought TV, but also very much supported my son to watch TV.
01
When others got married, they were discussing how big a TV set to buy at home. At that time, I agreed with my husband before getting married that I could not buy a TV set even if I died. The reason is very simple: too much plaything will bring bad children!
After becoming a mother, my son never touched the TV, cell phone or tablet before the child was two years old. Speaking of not buying TV for her, my heart was full of pride.
Until one time, I took my baby to a friend’s house. After dinner, my friend’s little sister turned on the TV, and my son looked straight at her and could not leave her step. Even on the way home, he told me several times: “Mom, I still have to watch TV.”
I have to say, my son’s performance hit me very hard.
And the child’s father’s words hit me at once: “Can you guarantee that there is no TV or computer at home, and can you guarantee that he does not have TV or computer outside?” ]
This kind of strict defense, the result is just to draw a firm picture, since I can’t create a vacuum flawless environment for Eva, then I need to think about, how to deal with the relationship between Eva and TV?
02
Why don’t we want Eva to watch TV? Or, let Eva watch TV, we are worried about what?
Worried that TV will reduce children’s eyesight? Will it affect children’s attention? Can make children addicted? Will it even affect children’s progress? To put it bluntly, what we are worried about is that children will lag behind others because they indulge in TV.
Well, the anxiety of losing control and falling behind is enough to force us to act quickly when our children see TV in its infancy. But the reality is very interesting. You will find that the more sensitive we are and the more strictly we guard TV, the more children want to watch it.
Why is this?
1. Forbidden fruit effect
[Forbidden Fruit Effect] means that due to [rebellious mentality], the more restricted things are, the more attractive they are. This is especially obvious in the relationship between children and TV.
How many parents have ever been involved in guerrilla warfare with their children? Before our parents came back soon, it can be said that cooling the TV set with fans and cold towels is a classic memory when we were young.
In this game between [control] and [anti-control], it is the parents who are sad and the children who are delayed.
Think about ourselves, how many of them are [retaliatory staying up late watching TV], and you will understand.
2. Parents use [watching TV] as a reward for their children.
I often hear parents say [conditions] when they want their children to do something:
[If you eat well, you will be rewarded for watching an animated film.]
[If you practice the piano well, you can watch half an hour more TV at night.]
Perhaps in the present, children will really obey, eat well and practice piano well… but in the long run, children will form such a cognition: watching TV = reward, watching TV can be exchanged.
So when he has the chance to watch more, how can he give up this [cheap]?
[Don’t watch white, don’t watch], [watch more is a little], when children look at TV with this kind of mentality, it will naturally become more and more energetic.
To put it bluntly, it is not TV that makes children addicted, but our attitude towards TV that leads to children’s addiction. As long as this root cause is not solved, even if there is no TV, he will find other alternatives, such as mobile phones, computers and even other things.
03
Now I will support children’s watching TV with both hands, because it does have many benefits.
For example, from the aspect of knowledge acquisition, my son is watching the mysteries of the universe, magical experiments, as well as some documentaries about scientific exploration, cartoon versions of idioms and stories, etc., which really have a lot of knowledge.
Although I didn’t expect to become a genius in this field by watching TV, I also sowed the seeds of knowledge by accepting some light waves of knowledge imperceptibly. Just say this small scientific experiment, after watching too much, once I had a meal and watched potato chips floating on porridge, the little guy told me about [buoyancy].
For example, from the aspect of growth, through the practice of watching TV, my son has realized what what calls “self-control”.
Last year in Double 11, I bought a [Xiao Ai classmate] (intelligent Ai speaker), which was specially used regularly before Eva watched TV.
[Xiao Ai classmate, remind me to turn off the TV in 15 minutes.] It has become a must for my baby before turning on the TV, and [Xiao Ai classmate] has also lived up to expectations. Every time he arrives, he will gently remind [turn off the TV].
Of course, it was not smooth sailing at first, and my son also resisted and relied on a skin by the way. But every time, I will respond to him gently and firmly [we have to talk as we say].
When I stick to the border and the child accepts the result, he will take the initiative to close it when he hears Xiao Ai’s reminder again.
For example, from the social aspect, the TV and animation we watched together are all children’s social languages. Just like the beginning of the article, as long as we can talk together, it is easy to become one.
In addition, as a middle-aged mother who has to work and take care of her children, we really need to catch our breath.
Occasionally let Eva watch a short film for 3 to 5 minutes. Eva will not have any problems and the sky will not fall, but for us, it can really enrich the blood and repair so as to resurrect in situ.
Well, let me do anything for this moment of silence!
04
Of course, as a middle-aged old mother who has rich experience in fighting with her, I understand your worries.
After all, there are a lot of garbage resources in the Internet and TV, but TV, as a tool, is not good or bad. Therefore, I attach more importance to how to make children watch TV reasonably than to consider whether to let children watch TV or not.
Here, I would like to share with you four common principles:
1. I control TV resources
When children are young, they cannot classify good or bad TV programs, and our country does not make animation classification marks. Therefore, what programs are suitable for our children, so we must check the resources.
2. The TV time is scheduled in advance.
Like everyone else, I am also worried that watching TV will affect children’s eyesight. Among them, the most important factor is that watching for a long time will lead to eye fatigue and myopia.
Therefore, I will definitely make an agreement with my children on how long to watch TV before watching TV. For timing tools, timers and even mobile phones, it is possible.
In general, I will make an agreement with Eva not to exceed 15 minutes at a time, or I can make an agreement with Eva to watch only one episode at a time and only three times a day.
3. Communicate with children on TV content,
Most TV programs belong to one-way output of content and lack interaction. If you watch too much, your children’s expressive power may decline.
Therefore, I will tend to discuss what I have seen after the TV is over, and even become our exclusive parent-child topic.
[Today’s Super Flying Man has all carried out what missions? ]
[They went to Scotland to send bagpipes. As a result, they also met the flood monster.]
[Wow, it sounds very breathtaking. What kind of flood monster is it? ]
…….
You see, this word, the whole story is almost linked up, which is very good for children to cultivate expression ability, retelling ability, and even to form logical thinking.
Moreover, whenever I discuss with him, he is very happy, because he will feel that his mother, like a good friend, likes what he likes and pays attention to what he also pays attention to.
Well, every day I have to play a middle-aged mother who loves animation.
And my son and I will often play a small scene game, that is, we play different animation roles respectively, according to the scene just seen, play again.
Sometimes, children will use their imagination in the interpretation of stories, not to mention more energy.
4. Help children develop other hobbies
Children who love reading will not always enjoy TV. Sports-loving babies will not always shrink in front of TV.
I once made a [treasure chest] with several small notes for parent-child games stuffed in it.
Every time Eva watches TV, she can reach in and take out surprises, shooting balloons, dancing disco, Woodenhead, jumping houses… With so many fun games, who will only stare at TV?
Most of the time, children are pushed to the TV by us.
[I am busy with my work, you can play for a while first]… When we push the child away from us and he is really bored, the TV naturally becomes the nanny to fill the seat.
In fact, children need emotional companionship and interaction most, and TV has never been his first choice.
Let children learn to watch TV and watch the right TV, which is the positive message we send to children!