In the past five years, I have gradually returned to work from a stay-at-home mother and gradually learned to reconcile with every struggle, struggle and guilt in bringing my baby.
In fact, on the way to raise children, many parents will feel that they have not done well enough and are sorry for their children.
This morning, my best friend made a long phone call to me, which made me very heartache.
After delivery, my best friend found that she was infected with high-risk HPV virus and reached the surgical indication of CIN II. If she develops further, she may be cervical cancer and then underwent surgery.
After the operation, the doctor advised her to pay attention to a good rest, exercise more, exercise more, eat healthily, ensure sleep, and improve her immunity as soon as possible, because the vast majority of HPV infections can heal themselves.
Yesterday, her reexamination results three months after the operation showed that HPV infection was still positive.
In order to insist on exclusive breastfeeding, my best friend has always insisted on feeding every meal and even got up 2-3 times in the middle of the night to feed the night milk. I don’t have a good rest, and it’s still so hard to bring my baby, so my best friend’s body immunity certainly can’t keep up.
Hearing this, I was really moved and distressed.
Invisibly, we put too much pressure on ourselves.
I know the living conditions of my best friend.
Living in a first-tier city with great pressure on life, her husband’s salary alone cannot support the whole family. In addition to the mortgage and foreign debt borrowed before buying a house, the family’s economic pressure is indeed not small.
After the end of maternity leave, my best friend immediately returned to work in the company and went straight to my home after work. Responsible, she always wanted to accompany her children wholeheartedly, giving them the best, virtually adding a lot of material and mental pressure to herself.
When the doctor clearly told her that she needed a good rest and recovery, her best friend still did not take her body seriously, continued to insist on feeding her child night milk and refused any form of milk powder.
She felt that it was all right, that is, it was a matter of staying up for a while.
But the body does not lie.
Parents don’t need to do everything for their children.
Best friends have such a strong obsession with exclusive breast milk. On the premise that there is no way to take good care of yourself, we must still insist on giving the best to our children.
If it were me, I would try my best to breast-feed during the day, but I would cut off the night milk as soon as possible. If the child must drink at night during the transition period, milk powder will be used instead.
Judging from the long river of a child’s life, breast milk is only a small part that the mother can give him. Especially today, milk powder has entered the stage of accurate simulation of breast milk. Feeding only one meal of milk powder is not a big event in what.
Yes, since we became parents, we dare not get sick or die.
However, only by taking good care of oneself can we take better care of our children. Although the mother’s selfless efforts are touching, there is no need to emphasize that the mother should do everything she can for her children.
In the past, this kind of mother who gave her whole heart to her children either raised a mother-in-law or became an evil mother-in-law-demanding that her daughter-in-law also give 100% to the big family.
Today, society is completely different.
Women have more choices and more rights to decide their own lives: some choose not to get married, some choose not to have children, some ask their parents to help them take care of their children… Some miss their children’s first smile, first bite of supplementary food and first walk, but they give their children full-time companionship whenever they are free.
These are all rational trade-offs made after comprehensively considering various situations.
We live up to our children
Who doesn’t want to be able to live in peace, literature and art, and the hearts of young girls, to accompany their children all the time, to grow up with them, to live in harmony, and never to shout?
But the reality is cruel.
It is good to be able to bring your own baby, but it is not impossible to ask for help.
It is good to be exclusively breast-fed, but it is not impossible to add a meal of milk powder to give yourself a good rest at night without delaying work the next day.
It is good to be able to buy newly listed expensive fruits for children in the first place, but it is not impossible to buy some for children after a large number of fruits come on the market and the price becomes cheaper.
It is good to take your children around the world and increase their knowledge, but it is still possible to take half an hour a day and take your children to run and jump in the garden of the community.
You have not wronged your children.