Mother means what to her child.
- The earliest and most authoritative emotional mentor.
Children will imitate their mothers’ emotions and behaviors and learn how to control their emotions. If the mother’s emotions are more likely to be anxious, uneasy or out of control, the child’s own emotions will not be very stable.
- An irreplaceable source of security.
Early attachment is an important source for children to acquire external safety cognition. In other words, children’s security basically comes from the stable attachment relationship established by their mothers in the early stage.
The mother is the child’s mirror. If the child can see how popular he is from the mother’s mirror, this is the greatest gift the mother gives the child.
What children fear most is their mother’s disregard for themselves.
- Refusal will form wrong behavior habits.
In the process of being rejected, the baby uses inappropriate behaviors to arouse the mother’s attention. If the mother makes a positive response at this moment, it is tantamount to telling the baby that these behaviors can win the mother’s attention, and then the baby will repeat such behaviors next time.
- Ignoring brings infinite disappointment.
The [calm] obtained after refusing to deal with indifference is only a disappointment after the failure of the mother’s connection demand. However, this disappointment is likely to spread in the children’s life in the future, gradually changing the children from being rejected and ignored to rejecting this [unsafe] world, ignoring the psychological feelings of others, and affecting the development of their interpersonal relationships in the future.
- No matter how small the neglect is, it is irreversible damage.
Fully accepting children’s feelings and maintaining their emotional stability are the cheapest ways of education. Those who have had selective perfunctory, neglect or deliberate refusal will even destroy the inner security and order of young children.
Call for a timely response
- Difficulty 1: Sometimes it’s really annoying. Children can’t beat or scold if they do something wrong. I can’t even ignore him?
Solution:
For children aged 0-3, Their exploration of the outside world is felt through imitation and learning in their relationship with their mother. In other words, When doing something wrong, the child chooses to ignore the behavior, which will make the child think [can’t do something wrong] with the fear, uneasiness and anxiety when being neglected, thus worrying more and more about the right and wrong of things in the future life, rather than curiosity and interest.
Therefore, non-response may be the worst of these treatment methods. On the contrary, it is a good choice to punish systematically.
- Difficulty 2: I am very busy and have no time to constantly respond to my children.
Solution:
If you cannot give a timely response and miss the response, you should give timely remedies to the emotional problems caused by it, so as not to make the child feel that his mother does not love him.
If you have to work during the day, Only at night can we see the children, Then please do your best to have parent-child activities with your children when you return home. Please remember here that if you are really tired. Then please spare less time to accompany your child, and then tell the child [Mom is very tired today, wants to rest with you, tomorrow weekend night (must be the time that can be cashed in) to accompany you to play XX (something the child likes), ok? ]
If the child agrees, please be sure to tell the child [Mom thanks for your understanding, today the baby has learned to understand, understand and care about the mother] to positively strengthen the correctness of this behavior.