We often think that the baby is naughty, always disobedient and likes to oppose us. In fact, most of the time, it is not that the baby is really naughty, but on the one hand, they are full of curiosity about everything but are not good at expressing it. On the other hand, you are used to judging by the inherent thinking of adults, so it is easy to cause misunderstanding between you and the baby.
Once I went to the door to pick up the express, I think the time is very short, Let the two-year-old baby stay alone in the living room, He also opened the animation, handed him a peeled banana, and repeatedly told him not to go out of the room, mother will come back immediately. I rushed to the door, found that it was a cash on delivery express, gave the change delayed for a while, and rushed home to find that the baby was no longer in the living room, and the animation was still playing. This frightened me! I shouted his name, As he hurried around looking for him, Finally found him in the bedroom, I found him laughing at the bedside. I suddenly became angry. I thought that he was not only disobedient, but also playing tricks on me, so I flew into a rage, gave him a good lecture, and turned away. However, he was stunned by my fear and said nothing. After a while, I calmed down, realized that I had just been too angry, so I squatted down, took his hand and asked why he had just walked away from the living room.
I can’t find the garbage can,” he said, looking down at the ground. “There is one in the bedroom.
I just remembered that after emptying the garbage in the living room in the morning, I conveniently put the garbage can on the balcony. However, we always asked him to throw the garbage into the garbage can himself and not to go to the balcony alone, so he threw the banana peel into the garbage can in the bedroom. It is estimated that when I came back at this time, I smiled and waited for me to praise him.
However, at that time, I was furious with him.
When I thought about his situation from another perspective, I suddenly found this feeling familiar. Gradually, this feeling became clearer and clearer: it was my consternation when I saved my pocket money to buy toys that I had long admired and was directly taken away and saved by my mother after seeing them, leaving me only a passbook. It was my deskmate who caught the spider and scared me to scream in class, causing me to be invited to the parents. My father gave me a grievance as soon as he entered the office. I was not sleepy but was forced to take a nap. Finally, I was beaten for a moment because I was noisy about my mother’s sleep.
Is it the baby who is disobedient, or do we think they are disobedient?
Limited by age and language development stage, children cannot think and express like adults.
When we rebuke the baby for littering food, it is difficult for him to express that he likes to observe different ways of falling objects. When we blame the baby for sprinkling water indiscriminately, it is difficult for her to express her wonderful touch when she likes to play with water. When criticizing the baby for robbing the mobile phone indiscriminately, it is difficult for him to express that he just wants you to accompany him for a while.
When adults do not explain the rules and boundaries to their children, children often “make mistakes” inadvertently.
He may eat plasticine shaped like ice cream because you didn’t tell him the common sense of adults that “plasticine cannot be eaten”. She may cling to a shiny princess dress in the store, because you didn’t tell her the principle of “you can’t always buy expensive and untrue things”. He may secretly drink the coffee in the cup because you didn’t tell him the fact that “caffeine affects nerve development”.
When adults do not understand the child’s position and the reason for acting, it is easy to think that the child is wrong.
He broke the cup, perhaps just wanted to get you water. He threw away your carefully stewed beef brisket probably just because he couldn’t chew it. He tore the pages of the book, perhaps it was just that his fine movements had not yet developed.
Facing these “mistakes” of children, we need more patience and love. Try to know the truth by asking, slowly guide the child to express, try to understand his world from the perspective of children, and also let him slowly understand the adult world in a way that he can accept.