I’m afraid the hardest thing to do in raising children is to be a good-natured father/mother.
No yelling, no yelling, no yelling, no yelling, no yelling, no yelling. Parents all hope to do it very much.
But most of the time, we can’t [give up] our explosive temper.
Today’s article is contributed by a reader of Dr. Clove. I’d like to share with you the sentiment of a angry mother.
I cried when I saw Chen Xiaochun and his son say [sorry]
I believe many of my friends who have seen < < Where’s Dad Going > > have been attracted by Chen Xiaochun’s father and son.
A cute and soft baby with extremely high emotional intelligence and a father with a violent temper.
What a sharp contrast.
My son Jasper, 4 years old, is about the same age as my daughter, but he is very young.
I followed my father to the program. I didn’t cry or make any noise all the way and talked generously.
Often say: Dad, I love you.
As for Chen Xiaochun, just like what he saw in gangsters a few years ago, he has a face of “not easy to handle” and is impatient for minutes in the face of his son, who has many small things and many people, just like a “strict father”.
The most impressive scene in the program was the scene when Chen Xiaochun and his son came home from the seaside.
At that time, the whole group was looking for ingredients at the seaside to prepare for dinner.
At the end of the activity, everyone went back to their houses. Jasper kept playing with the megaphone. Chen Xiaochun’s voice was low and he felt that every minute would explode.
On the way back to the room, Jasper walked slowly behind, still playing with loudspeakers while walking. Chen Xiaochun finally couldn’t help yelling at his son.
The passers-by next to them were all scared away by [Brother Pheasant] lost face, but Jasper was calm.
Chen Xiaochun turned back and became even more impatient: [what? ]
Jasper wanted to think and turned on the horn in his hand:
Can you stop being angry?
Seeing this, I thought Chen Xiaochun was going to go wild soon, but I didn’t think he was stunned.
Although Dad apologized, Jasper was still bitter.
Returning to the room, he mentioned the [unhappiness] that had just happened.
Facing his son [turning over old scores], Chen Xiaochun apologized to his son for the second time.
Jasper finally smiled happily.
In the evening, when asked whether the video with my mother Ying Caier was great or not, Chen Xiaochun said: “I am not great, Jasper is great”.
Then he said [sorry] to his son for the third time.
In order to get out of control of his emotions, Chen Xiaochun apologized to his children three times before and after, and cried at me every time.
Really, these are too real. Isn’t this our daily life with our children?
[I’m sorry, Mom blamed you wrong]
I remember when my daughter was over 2 years old, one day I was doing housework at home.
The daughter leaned in with a sly smile, holding a biscuit:
Mom, look!
As he spoke, he put the biscuit into his mouth.
Huh? Isn’t this the biscuit that has just been packed up and thrown into the garbage can?
Baby, did you pick up this biscuit?
Seeing my face change greatly, my daughter covered her mouth and shook her head.
Spit it out, this biscuit can’t be eaten. It just fell to the ground.
I said it several times, but my daughter did not vomit anyway. Thinking that she had just had diarrhea last week, a burst of fire came up:
Don’t you know what what can eat and what what can’t eat? !
The garbage can is so dirty that you still pick it up and eat it! Why are you so greedy?
It is because you always do this that you have diarrhea!
The child grinned and cried, and the crumbs in his mouth fell to the ground.
The fire is even bigger. Pick her up and put her in the [Calm Angle]:
You stay calm for three minutes! Think about what you did wrong!
Five minutes later, the crying gradually stopped.
I went into the study to tidy up my desk and suddenly found half a bag of biscuits on the table, the kind my daughter had just eaten.
Is it true that the biscuits the children eat are not from the garbage can?
My heart suddenly tightened and I quickly took half a bag of biscuits to check the garbage can. Sure enough, the dirty biscuit was still there.
Realizing that I had wrongly blamed my daughter, I walked up to her uneasily:
Baby, did you tell your mother that you just took the biscuits in this bag?
The child nodded weakly with tears on his face.
Sorry, baby, mother was wrong.
Mom thought you were eating biscuits from the garbage can and blamed you wrong.
As if one of the switches had been turned on, she [wow] cried again.
I cried louder than just now. I know that this is the cry of injustice.
I recall that I yelled and yelled at the child just now, and I blamed myself for not being able to do so.
I’m sorry, mom was wrong, mom until you feel wronged…
Said sorry, holding my daughter, I regret tears also stayed.
My daughter saw me crying, stopped crying and touched my face with her hand.
Forgive mom, okay? Mom was wrong about you.
The daughter nodded hard and smiled.
At that moment, I was a child who made mistakes.
It is not difficult to say [sorry] to the child.
I have the same temper and are very hot. I take care of the children by myself. My husband is very busy. My daughter is weak, old and sick. She is really tired.
Sometimes when my daughter makes mistakes, I can’t help but [shout] and beat her twice.
Every time I lose my temper, I end up regretting it.
[Bad emotions have a bad influence on children], [Mothers should control their emotions well and don’t yell at children], I know all these.
[Orange Rhinoceros 30 Days to Stop Shout and Clock in], [Time-out Calm Rule], I’m watching and learning.
I understand the truth and it is too difficult to do it.
When you are in a bad mood, when you don’t get enough sleep, when you are too tired with your baby, and when your daughter commits a crime, these tricks have been forgotten to 18,000 years later.
However, after that incident, I realized that in fact, many things were not the child’s mistakes, but that I misunderstood her or did not understand her.
Although, I still can’t help losing my temper, but after losing my temper, I will seriously reflect:
Did I misunderstand my daughter? Did I not understand her?
This matter is really so serious, do you need to shout at the children?
Like Chen Xiaochun, I gradually learned to sort out my emotions and sincerely apologize to my daughter.
Mom shouldn’t have lost her temper just now. I’m sorry.
Can you forgive mom?
As a result, most of the time the ending is: my daughter and I apologize to each other for what we did wrong and make up our minds.
In the face of my roar, my daughter no longer shivered:
Mom, you need to calm down.
This sentence, like magic, doused the fire in my heart.
What I taught my child, she also taught it back to me intact.
I’m sorry” is more important than saying “I love you.
Almost all of our generation grew up in an environment where they could not say [love]. Parents are often very strict with our education.
Once upon a time, I was proud to think that it was amazing to say “I love you” to my children every day.
But think about it, is it more necessary to express [sorry] than [I love you]?
It is easy to discipline children, beat and scold them, love them, and say [I love you]. When we do something wrong, it is difficult to say that [I am wrong].
If we can’t be parents who don’t lose their temper, we can at least be parents who can say [sorry].
When we misunderstand the child and lose our temper with the child;
When we promise our children but fail to fulfill our promise;
When we are so busy that we neglect our children.
We can all lower ourselves and have a good talk with our children.
I’m sorry, mom is in a bad mood and lost her temper. It’s not your fault… … …
I’m sorry, Dad promised to pick you up from school but didn’t come. Mom wanted to come very much, but she was really too busy… … …
Sorry, I am working now and can’t play with you. Can you wait for me for half an hour?
Perhaps, when we say this sentence, the child is no longer as adamant as we think.
They can understand that parents are very busy, and they can also understand that adults make mistakes.
They are more tolerant than we thought.
A [sorry], let the child feel respected.
That sentence is quite right. Parents are a mirror for children.
Only when we respect them can they learn to respect us and others.