I believe you must have seen similar news:
Teachers, who should have taken care of their children’s growth and made them respect and trust them, have taken advantage of their positions to commit such crimes, which is really chilling.
On average, one case is exposed every day, and nearly 70 mature people commit crimes.
According to < < [Girl Child Protection] Statistics on Cases of Sexual Abuse of Children in 2016 and Investigation Report on Children’s Sexual Abuse Prevention Education > >:
In 2016, 433 cases of sexual abuse of children (under 14 years old) were publicly exposed by the media throughout the year, with an average of 1.21 cases exposed every day, an increase of nearly 30% year on year.
Of the 433 cases of sexual abuse of children publicly reported in 2016, 300 were committed by acquaintances (excluding statistics that did not mention the relationship between the two parties in public reports), accounting for 69.28% of the total cases. Among them, the proportion of clearly stated acquaintances from high to low was 27.33% for teachers and students, 24.33% for neighbors, 12% for relatives (including parents and friends) and 10% for family members.
The report also mentioned that nearly 70% of parents have not conducted systematic sex abuse prevention education for their children. What is even more worrying is that many parents have provided a convenient door for children to sexually abuse.
Are you wrong in educating children to prevent abuse?
In the face of other people’s intimacy, when children show reluctance, many parents force their children to hug and kiss others out of etiquette and emotional considerations. Little imagine, this is a hidden danger for children’s safety.
Ignoring the child’s wishes and forcing him to hug, kiss and other intimate contacts with others is telling the child four things:
1. Your health is not up to you
Although parents will not utter this cruel remark, their actions may be faithfully practicing [your body is up to me]. For example:
- Grabbed the child’s hand and waved it happily: “Baby, say hello to aunt!” ] Push the child close to other children: [Come on, come on, hold hands with your little sister! Give me a hug! Give me a kiss! ] Put the child in someone else’s hand/arms: [Let aunt hold one ~] [Kiss grandma ~]
The kindness in my heart and the ease of my words cannot hide the reality that children’s autonomy over their bodies has been mercilessly violated time and again.
In the long run, children may think that when adults ask me to make physical contact, I cannot refuse.
The worst result will be how? When hostile physical contact occurs, the child may not have enough consciousness to refuse.
2. It is safe to have physical contact with people you know.
Such scenes are very common. Children are unwilling to hug others. Parents say beside them:
It’s okay. It’s okay. This is my mother’s colleague.
Afraid of what, this is your grandfather! Go and hug Grandpa ~
It is still out of kindness, but in fact it is telling the child that this person is a good man in front of him, because his parents know him and because he is your relative, so don’t be afraid.
We often educate our children that strangers are dangerous and neglect the vigilance of acquaintances. As mentioned at the beginning of the article, nearly 70% of children’s sexual abuse is committed by acquaintances. In fact, safety is not necessarily related to knowing a person.
3. The danger and uneasiness you feel can be ignored.
Children are sensitive to danger and discomfort, and it is instinct to ensure their own safety.
When children are afraid of intimate contact with others, they will express it in some ways, refusing, struggling, crying, expressionless, turning around and running… They clearly let adults know:
I don’t feel very well! I don’t want to!
If we force again at this moment, we will clearly tell the child:
Your feelings are not what!
In fact, no matter whether others are malicious or not, as long as children feel uncomfortable, they have the right to express themselves and refuse these needs.
Coercion may make children lose the ability to say [no] to real sexual assault.
4. You need to use physical contact to please others
Perhaps many people will feel wronged:
I just want everyone to be happy. As for being on the line?
The old man just likes children. One hug, one kiss and one kiss can be happy for a long time. Is it so serious to make children feel a little wronged?
All people socialize for pleasure, and taking children to parties can really enliven the atmosphere. However, it is too narrow to think that only one hug and one kiss is the way for children to establish ties with others.
Children have too many ways to express their enthusiasm and joy, and their creativity is far beyond people’s imagination. However, parents’ emphasis on expressing their enthusiasm through close physical contact is actually an expression: if you don’t hug and kiss, others won’t like you.
Then, it is not difficult for us to understand why so many acquaintances have committed crimes: if people don’t hug and kiss you, teachers/uncles/uncles won’t like you.
Educate children to prevent abuse and have the right to refuse intimate contact.
Parents should always remember that the child’s body belongs to him and he has a veto over intimate contact.
1. When the child shows resistance, stop and ask the child if he is unwilling, give him a certain time to consider and react, and respect the child’s decision.
2. If you want to demonstrate the social etiquette of hugging and kissing your child, you don’t have to let the child go directly, but adults should first demonstrate it. If parents also feel embarrassed, then don’t ask the child to do so. Alternatively, parents can also use after-work hugs and good night kisses to teach their children the social etiquette of hugging and kissing.
3. Introduce strangers to your child. Give him a certain time to observe and get familiar with these strangers. Don’t force your child to make physical contact. When your feelings reach, your child will naturally want to hug.
4. When appropriate, encourage children to socialize with others in their own way: high-five, forehead touch, applause, smile, salute… This will not hurt the feelings of the big world, but may instead allow friends, relatives and children to establish unique connections, and may have their own unique greeting methods.